Friday, November 26, 2010

Bawful After Dark: Thanksgiving Weekend Watch

APTOPIX Nets Celtics Basketball
Kevin Garnett Photobomb!

Speaking of Kevin Garnett, AnacondaHL shared an amazing Garnett quote earlier today:
"Shaq is paradise," said Garnett. "You ever wash your sheets and then set them out to dry in the sun? You ever smell those sheets when they're done? That's what Shaq is."
I... don't even know what to say. And since I'm still recovering from a turkey-induced food coma, let's just move on.

Worst of the Past Couple Nights in Pictures:

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"HEY! Did I just see you playing defense?!? If I catch you doing that one more time, your ass is benched!!"


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How about no...


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Didn't you just lose like three straight games? Why are you celebrating?


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Erik Spolestra just saw The Basketball Jones' video and realized it was like looking into the future


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Hey, uh, LeBron, I think you got a little something in your teeth there... Wait, you mean you got a mouthpiece like that on purpose??


Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Rockets at Bobcraps, ESPN2, 7pm: What's going on? TNT gives us two just horrible Thanksgiving night games, and ESPN (well, ESPN2 actually) has to try to match them?

Warriors at Grizzlies, ESPN2, 9:30pm: Okay, now they're just messing with us.

All The Other Friday Games:
Cavaliers at Magic, 7pm: It's kind of funny now to think about how this used to be a real rivalry, isn't it?

Craptors at Celtics, 7:30pm: Instead of watching these dinosaurs and their unbelievable four game winning streak, you should instead prepare yourself to watch Triassic Attack Saturday night on the SyFy channel. Go and read this article for more information (come on, do it. It quotes Frank Coniff, AKA "TV's Frank" from Mystery Science Theater 3000!). The basic premise of the movie:
The movie is about the fossilized remains of dinosaurs that are brought back to life by a Native American spell and urged to wreak havoc on a small town. The ravenous, animated skeletons start eating as many people as they can.

However, because the resurrected dinosaurs are only bones, they have no digestive organs. So their human meals just drop to the ground after mastication.
Tell me that isn't 65 million times more awesome than a Craptors game.

Bucks at Pistons, 7:30pm: The now largely-unfeared deer from Wisconsin are sitting at a 5-9 record despite a solid defense because, as I've noted before, you still have to score more points than the other guy. Luckily for them, Detroit is also a five win team with a much less effective defense.

76ers at Heat, 7:30pm: And sadly the run of epic Heat failures comes to an end.

Thunder at Pacers, 8pm: The Thunder are 5-1 this year on the road, but going back a ways, they have lost 3 straight games in Indianapolis. I'm trying to figure this one out, but I'm just plain not smart enough to comprehend that. It's just the Pacers, guys. Get it together.

Mavericks at Spurs, 8:30pm: Interesting game. The Mavs are winning games, but not in a good way. Quoting Marc Stein on The BS Report: "The problem is if [Nowitzki] has to keep carrying the load he's carrying right now, we won't see him in April. He's playing spectacular, but this team is -- hard to watch right now is putting it kindly. They're winning games with [defense]... If Jason Terry has an off-night, they're huge trouble because half the time they're playing 2-on-5 offensively." The Spurs may have barely beaten the Timberpups in a goofy trap game, but they could really bring it to the Mavs here.

Bulls at Nuggets, 9pm: The Bulls need to win either this game or Saturday night at Suckramento to lock up their first winning record for the Circus Trip since Jordan was dunking all over people for them. Unfortunately, Derrick Rose and Taj Gibson are both gametime decisions tonight. Gibson's ankle is still a little sore, and Rose is fighting discomfort in his neck.

Clippers at Suns, 9pm: Now that the Clippers have gotten their one win for the week out of the way, they can go back to their usual godawful routine of failure.

Lakers at Jazz, 9:30pm: Sobering stat of the day: "The Utah Jazz have lost all three home games against teams that made the playoffs last season." And if you'll remember, the Lakers beat the holy hell out of the Jazz in the playoffs last year, and are on the warpath this year and intent on destroying everything in their sight. Sorry, Utah fans. Not looking good for tonight.

Hornets at Frail Blazers, 10pm: The Blazers were looking forward to getting Joel Przybilla back on the court (as were the rest of us here at Basketbawful), but it may not happen tonight. After recovering for nearly a full year from a ruptured patella, he finally gets ready to hit the court... and has to go to the hospital fighting a stomch virus. It's almost like somebody on the inside is sabotaging the Blazers at this point. (For the record, The Vanilla Gorilla is still a gametime decision, and will play limited minutes if he does get in the game)

* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Magic at Wizards Generals, NBA TV, 7pm: "Magic" and "wizards" battle it out in the matchup of geektacular team names!

All The Other Saturday Games:
Hawks at Knicks, 1pm: I have nothing worth sharing related to this game, so I'll just share this: President Obama needed 12 stitches after getting hit in the mouth during a friendly game of hoops on Thanksgiving. At least it's better than what happened to Tiger Woods the last time we had a celebrity of sorts get injured over the Thanksgiving long weekend.

Grizzlies at Cavaliers, 7:30pm: Fair to say almost nobody will be at this game, right? The Cleveland fans have to save up their dollars for the King James return game.

Nyets at 76ers, 7:30pm: Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted: "Terrence Williams had a lot of red flags for teams coming out of Louisville and chronic tardiness with Nets earns him demotion to D-League." As someone from Louisville who watched T-Will in college far too much... yes, he is D-League material.

Warriors at Timberwolves, 8pm: Are you ready for Darko to put up a 30/15/5 game? It's within the realm of possibility here, folks. Somebody please hold me. I'm scared.

Heat at Mavericks, 8:30pm: There will be a combination of five effective offensive players on the floor at once here. Too bad it's spread over two teams.

Bobcraps at Bucks, 9pm: The appeal of watching this game is like watching The Postman to see Tom Petty's cameo as himself in a post-apocalyptic Kevin Costner world. Terrible enough to be briefly amusing, but absolutely not worth it, and you feel like a worse person for seeing it. (However, it is worth it to check out the Youtube comments for the joke someone makes about living "like a refugee")

Bulls at Kings, 10pm: This reeks of trap game. Chicago looking forward to ending their road trip, Rose is a little banged up, Suckramento should in theory be an easy opponent...

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All The Sunday Games:
Hawks at Craptors, 1pm: As bad as the Hawks have struggled at times this season, at least they can take comfort in knowing they haven't lost twice in a week to the Craptors like the 76ers recently did. So that's nice.

Knicks at Pistons, 1:30pm: Including this game, the Knicks upcoming schedule: at Pistons, Nyets, at Hornets, at Craptors, T-Wolves, Craptors, at Generals. Seriously, I am willing to accept that the Knicks might reel off several wins in a few weeks here.

Spurs at Hornets, 3pm: Good game.

Jazz at Clippers, 3:30pm: Not so good of a game.

Thunder at Rockets, 7pm: At what point does Daryl Morey start drinking heavily?

Frail Blazers at Nyets, 7pm: Just thinking here... aren't we overdue for The Prokhorov to do something ridiculous and entertaining? I feel kinda let down.

Suns at Nuggets, 8pm: Newsflash: Amar''''e is a terrible defender. (I know, mindblowing news, right?) Well, here is some insight into that -- Amar'''e says nobody ever taught him how to play defense! Because of course it's impossible for him to seek other sources of knowledge...

Pacers at Lakers, 9:30pm: While the Lakers certainly will just steamroll over the Pacers in this game, they still won't be too upset if they do manage to somehow lose. They're the only team in the entire Pacific division that is above .500 as of Friday. Not that this is surprising since they play in the same conference as the Warriors, Kings, and Clippers, but still.

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