Today has sucked for yours truly. I don't really have much to say right now, but it is my duty as a Basketbawful writer to update you on the Tony Parker divorce proceedings. First, Basketbawful reader Scott noted in WOTN comments: "According to a statement from the show, Longoria tells Lopez that she found "hundreds of text messages" from a woman on Parker’s phone, and that this woman was revealed to be the wife of one of Parker’s teammates." Now I'm hearing Tony Parker allegedly cheated with Brent Barry's wife. Okay then.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Nationally Televised Games:
Suns at Heat, ESPN, 7pm: Actual line from the STATS LLC preview: "The Heat may have begun lessening the criticism by beating Toronto 109-100 on Saturday." I'm sorry, but beating the Craptors by single digits doesn't prove a damn thing.
Bulls at Spurs, ESPN, 9:30pm: In the WOTN, Bawful noted that Joakim Noah looked "like ass" last night. Unfortunately, he gets to play against the Spurs tonight -- he's only averaged 4.8 boards per game in the six total games he's played against San Antonio. And considering the Spurs have started the season 8-1, that's probably not a good sign for tonight's game. Throw in the second night of a back-to-back on the dreaded Circus Trip, and... ouch.
All The Other Games:
Craptors at 76ers, 7pm: Jeez. This game is like a car wreck -- hard to look away it's so terrible. Speaking of which...
Lakers at Pistons, 7:30pm: With the news that Ben Wallace wants to be a defense attorney after he retires, the Lakers have changed their gameplan to having their bench players hold up pictures of Judge Judy, random Law & Order characters, and Matlock -- surely this will distract Wallace enough for the Lakers to win the game! Or they could just play them outright and beat the hell out of them because they're the Pissed-Ons, but whatever. Where's the fun in that?
Also, I can't wait to buy the Ben Wallace Inflatable Courtroom Defender.
Mavericks at Hornets, 8pm: On Monday, the Mavs ended the Hornets' quest for 82-0. Could this be a revenge game???
Clippers at Timberwolves, 8pm: Since Blake Griffin's already lost the will to live after being forced to witness Clippers games first-hand every night, this game won't have anything worth watching. Well, except for Darko. You gotta keep an eye on him just in case he sends a random botched pass or bricked shot in your direction.
Rockets at Thunder, 8pm: Amazing how these two teams are playing this year, isn't it? All offense, no defense, all the time! Durant could go off for 40 tonight.
Nyets at Jazz, 9pm: If the Jazz actually have to come back from their usual halftime deficit in this game, I will be greatly saddened.
Bricks at Kings, 10pm: Sadly, one of these teams has to win this game, meaning that either a 5 game losing streak or a 6 game losing streak will be broken. Thankfully, one of those two losing streaks will be increased, so I guess not all is lost.