Gilbert Arenas -- formerly Agent Zero, Hibatchi, The Clown Prince of the NBA, etc. -- was a real poopy pants during training camp. It may be hard for a lower middle class schmuck like me to imagine how somebody making nearly $18 million dollars this year to play basketball could be so forlorn and miserable, but Arenas is accomplishing the hell out of it.
And I thought Iron Eyes Cody had mastered the Sad Face. Not so!
Gil's latest words of woe, via Michael Lee of the Washington Post, are as follows:
"I lost all feeling a long time ago. Basketball is basketball now, no matter what floor I'm on," Arenas said with a shrug. "It's just basketball. It's not rocket scientist. You go out there and you just play."Well, I'm glad to know basketball is "not rocket scientist." And could that "I lost all feeling a long time ago" line be any more emo? Even the most die-hard Twilight fan would be too embarrassed to scribble that line onto their official Forks, Washington stationary right before crying themselves to sleep in the arms of a Team Edward teddy bear.
And that's saying something. I think.
Here's another one. After giving the semi-cold shoulder to former teammates Brendan Haywood, DeShawn Stevenson and Caron Butler before last night's exhibition game against the Dallas Mavericks, Arenas said:
"My job is to not make friends. My job is to help this team win and saying hello to my old teammates was not part of the job."Huh. I guess Gilbert forgot to take his human being pills yesterday.