Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Gilbert Arenas: Perfecting the Sad Face

crying indian
Crying Indian sheds a single, dramatic tear for Gilbert Arenas.

Gilbert Arenas -- formerly Agent Zero, Hibatchi, The Clown Prince of the NBA, etc. -- was a real poopy pants during training camp. It may be hard for a lower middle class schmuck like me to imagine how somebody making nearly $18 million dollars this year to play basketball could be so forlorn and miserable, but Arenas is accomplishing the hell out of it.

And I thought Iron Eyes Cody had mastered the Sad Face. Not so!

Gil's latest words of woe, via Michael Lee of the Washington Post, are as follows:

"I lost all feeling a long time ago. Basketball is basketball now, no matter what floor I'm on," Arenas said with a shrug. "It's just basketball. It's not rocket scientist. You go out there and you just play."
Well, I'm glad to know basketball is "not rocket scientist." And could that "I lost all feeling a long time ago" line be any more emo? Even the most die-hard Twilight fan would be too embarrassed to scribble that line onto their official Forks, Washington stationary right before crying themselves to sleep in the arms of a Team Edward teddy bear.

And that's saying something. I think.

Here's another one. After giving the semi-cold shoulder to former teammates Brendan Haywood, DeShawn Stevenson and Caron Butler before last night's exhibition game against the Dallas Mavericks, Arenas said:

"My job is to not make friends. My job is to help this team win and saying hello to my old teammates was not part of the job."
Huh. I guess Gilbert forgot to take his human being pills yesterday.

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