Black Belt in Crotty, Epitome of Sadness, Purple Paupers (chris!), Scrappy Coco, Stockton to Ostertag, and Zombie KY Colonels (Dan B!) all couldn't make it. I'll highlight in red picks I thought were
| Round 1 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Kevin Durant (OKC - SF) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Chris Paul (NO - PG) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Derrick Rose (Chi - PG) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Dirk Nowitzki (Dal - PF) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | LeBron James (Mia - SF) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | Dwyane Wade (Mia - PG,SG) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | Kobe Bryant (LAL - SG) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Stephen Curry (GS - PG) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Pau Gasol (LAL - PF,C) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Danny Granger (Ind - SF,PF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | Deron Williams (Uta - PG) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | David Lee (GS - PF,C) | Free Mario! |
Only one major surprise here, which is obviously Rose at the 3rd pick. I thought it was an Autopick error, but in hindsight, it started a trend which will become clear shortly. LeBron dropping to 5 despite his absurdly low PFs and all around game was the steal of the round. And personally I don't like seeing Danny Granger fall this low, but lots of opinions vary on that.
| Round 2 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Rajon Rondo (Bos - PG) | Free Mario! |
| 2. | Brook Lopez (NJ - C) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 3. | Chris Bosh (Mia - PF,C) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 4. | Steve Nash (Pho - PG) | Oliver Thriller |
| 5. | Amar'e Stoudemire (NY - PF,C) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 6. | Dwight Howard (Orl - C) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 7. | Gerald Wallace (Cha - SF,PF) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 8. | Josh Smith (Atl - PF) | Scrappy Coco |
| 9. | Tyreke Evans (Sac - PG,SG) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 10. | Carmelo Anthony (Den - SF) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 11. | Jason Kidd (Dal - PG) | Purple Paupers |
| 12. | Al Jefferson (Uta - PF,C) | Colostomy Bags |
I didn't like Bosh this early, but maybe his low PFs and all around numbers explain the pick. Dwight Howard Autopicked here is awful, and will be killer in FT%, TO, PF, and TECH. Tyreke this early is not only awful Kahn-style Autopicking (vacuuming up PGs), but didn't even give chris a chance to draft his team's rising young star! Again, Scrappy Coco with the steal, somehow getting an incredible FT punting team started.
| Round 3 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Joe Johnson (Atl - SG,SF) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Chauncey Billups (Den - PG) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Andre Iguodala (Phi - SG,SF) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Russell Westbrook (OKC - PG) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | Al Horford (Atl - PF,C) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | Kevin Love (Min - PF,C) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | John Wall (Was - PG) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Brandon Roy (Por - SG,SF) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Tim Duncan (SA - PF,C) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Monta Ellis (GS - PG,SG) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | Andrea Bargnani (Tor - PF,C) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | David West (NO - PF) | Free Mario! |
Danza rebounds with a mini steal, followed by a stream of more Kahn Autopicks. I don't like Westbrook or Wall this high, and Rondo's Jump Shot's decision to reach for Love was curious. He got Z-Bo in the next round anyways, but still that could have been a better pick, if only for Free Mario to have the Gay-Love combo.
| Round 4 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Rudy Gay (Mem - SF,PF) | Free Mario! |
| 2. | Danilo Gallinari (NY - SF) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 3. | Nene Hilario (Den - PF,C) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 4. | Andrew Bogut (Mil - C) | Oliver Thriller |
| 5. | Manu Ginobili (SA - SG) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 6. | DeMarcus Cousins (Sac - PF,C) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 7. | Zach Randolph (Mem - PF,C) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 8. | Paul Pierce (Bos - SG,SF) | Scrappy Coco |
| 9. | LaMarcus Aldridge (Por - PF,C) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 10. | Joakim Noah (Chi - PF,C) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 11. | Marc Gasol (Mem - C) | Purple Paupers |
| 12. | Stephen Jackson (Cha - SG,SF) | Colostomy Bags |
"Fuck it, I'm taking the Italians." Also, we're lucky Autopick sucks, as Scrappy passed on Marc Gasol for a pretty damn ultimate FT punt team. Bogut was a little early too, as you can see in the next round, drafting injurious big men was apparently Oliver Thriller's gameplan. Dan B gets the rookie shaft again.
| Round 5 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Blake Griffin (LAC - PF) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Darren Collison (Ind - PG) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Carlos Boozer (Chi - PF,C) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Mo Williams (Cle - PG) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | Marcus Camby (Por - PF,C) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | Jason Richardson (Pho - SG,SF) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | Kevin Martin (Hou - SG) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Troy Murphy (NJ - PF,C) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Andrew Bynum (LAL - C) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Aaron Brooks (Hou - PG) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | Andray Blatche (Was - PF,C) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | Devin Harris (NJ - PG) | Free Mario! |
Way too early for Griffin. I dunno if this was the right round to be reaching for injured stars to help the March/April games, so I'm just going to label them all red and let Lady Luck sort it out.
| Round 6 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Chris Kaman (LAC - C) | Free Mario! |
| 2. | Channing Frye (Pho - PF,C) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 3. | Antawn Jamison (Cle - SF,PF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 4. | Yao Ming (Hou - C) | Oliver Thriller |
| 5. | Raymond Felton (NY - PG,SG) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 6. | Hedo Turkoglu (Pho - SG,SF) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 7. | Kevin Garnett (Bos - PF) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 8. | Baron Davis (LAC - PG) | Scrappy Coco |
| 9. | Luis Scola (Hou - PF,C) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 10. | Ray Allen (Bos - SG) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 11. | Jeff Green (OKC - SF,PF) | Purple Paupers |
| 12. | Jason Terry (Dal - PG,SG) | Colostomy Bags |
I let the clock run down to 5 seconds or less on this one, as the crowd was egging me on to actually take Hedo, and I was considering it after Aaron Brooks was heartlessly stolen right before me. But alas, I chose my Arizona alum instead, drawing sighs of "ohh, so close!". I was considering grabbing Jeff Green this round too, and seeing him drop all the way to 11th pick was bittersweet. Another injurous center for Oliver Thriller, and honestly look at poor Dan B's team now.
| Round 7 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Jamal Crawford (Atl - PG,SG) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Anthony Randolph (NY - PF,C) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Luol Deng (Chi - SF) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Andrei Kirilenko (Uta - SF,PF) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | Paul Millsap (Uta - PF) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | Marcus Thornton (NO - SG) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | John Salmons (Mil - SG,SF) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Gilbert Arenas (Was - PG,SG) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Anderson Varejao (Cle - PF,C) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Trevor Ariza (NO - SG,SF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | O.J. Mayo (Mem - SG) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | Brandon Jennings (Mil - PG) | Free Mario! |
Lou Wolding goes either way too early or way too late, whether you believe the hype of his 3-pt shot with his much improved teammates. As for me, I totally biff the pick, getting lured by the "best available" scent, but completely useless player for my team strategy. Pretty sad that I was even willing to take Ariza here.
| Round 8 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Eric Gordon (LAC - SG) | Free Mario! |
| 2. | Caron Butler (Dal - SG,SF) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 3. | Rashard Lewis (Orl - SF,PF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 4. | Shawn Marion (Dal - SF,PF) | Oliver Thriller |
| 5. | Jrue Holiday (Phi - PG) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 6. | Corey Maggette (Mil - SF,PF) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 7. | J.J. Hickson (Cle - PF,C) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 8. | Samuel Dalembert (Sac - C) | Scrappy Coco |
| 9. | Greg Oden (Por - C) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 10. | Vince Carter (Orl - SG,SF) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 11. | Roy Hibbert (Ind - C) | Purple Paupers |
| 12. | Elton Brand (Phi - PF,C) | Colostomy Bags |
Another biff. I really needed a backup point guard, and having forgot Jrue Holiday I went with the stack on 3pt and PTS. I mean, aside from that, look at everyone else drafted this round. Ugh. I'm just going to give every non-Hibbert Center a red tag because I'm more likely to be right than wrong. Vince gets a special purple tag because he's still a raptor in my heart. And also we just need to all watch this again, thank you Dan B.
| Round 9 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Drew Gooden (Mil - PF,C) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Tyrus Thomas (Cha - PF) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Andris Biedrins (GS - C) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Jameer Nelson (Orl - PG) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | Carl Landry (Sac - SF,PF) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | JaVale McGee (Was - PF,C) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | Robin Lopez (Pho - PF,C) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Lamar Odom (LAL - SF,PF) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Louis Williams (Phi - PG,SG) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Emeka Okafor (NO - C) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | Anthony Morrow (NJ - SG,SF) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | Mehmet Okur (Uta - C) | Free Mario! |
And there goes Lou right before my eyes. Here's hoping Morrow can up his steals totals this season! Maybe Okur could have fit my team better...
| Round 10 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Al Harrington (Den - PF,C) | Free Mario! |
| 2. | Nicolas Batum (Por - SG,SF) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 3. | Michael Beasley (Min - PF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 4. | Dorell Wright (GS - SG,SF) | Oliver Thriller |
| 5. | Mike Miller (Mia - SG,SF) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 6. | J.R. Smith (Den - SG,SF) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 7. | Andre Miller (Por - PG) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 8. | Tony Parker (SA - PG) | Scrappy Coco |
| 9. | Ben Gordon (Det - SG) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 10. | Brendan Haywood (Dal - C) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 11. | Rodney Stuckey (Det - PG,SG) | Purple Paupers |
| 12. | Jarrett Jack (Tor - PG,SG) | Colostomy Bags |
I got a lot of praise for snagging Batum this freaking late (110), I mean after all he's projected with a 2.8 V12 in SCHOENE, ranking him 42. Otherwise, this is getting pretty grim pretty quickly.
| Round 11 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Evan Turner (Phi - SG,SF) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Mike Conley (Mem - PG) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Taj Gibson (Chi - PF) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Ron Artest (LAL - SG,SF) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | Beno Udrih (Sac - PG) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | Leandro Barbosa (Tor - PG,SG) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | Boris Diaw (Cha - SF,PF) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Reggie Williams (GS - SG,SF) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Jamario Moon (Cle - SF) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Jose Calderon (Tor - PG) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | Amir Johnson (Tor - PF) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | George Hill (SA - PG,SG) | Free Mario! |
Yes, I was even waiting on Jose Calderon. Somehow Reggie Williams is stolen from me in every draft. I think too many people know how to sort by per-minute production. Evan Turner isn't even worth drafting, with his disappointing pre-season showing. I'm going to give myself a pat for stealing Amir "the replacement Bosh" Johnson, but I think he might single-handidly sink my PF category. Boris Diaw gets an F for Fat.
| Round 12 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | DeMar DeRozan (Tor - SG,SF) | Free Mario! |
| 2. | Wilson Chandler (NY - SF,PF) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 3. | Thaddeus Young (Phi - SF,PF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 4. | Rodrigue Beaubois (Dal - PG,SG) | Oliver Thriller |
| 5. | Terrence Williams (NJ - SG,SF) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 6. | Tiago Splitter (SA - SF,PF,C) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 7. | Linas Kleiza (Tor - SG,SF) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 8. | D.J. Augustin (Cha - PG) | Scrappy Coco |
| 9. | Brad Miller (Hou - C) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 10. | Chris Andersen (Den - PF,C) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 11. | Luke Ridnour (Min - PG) | Purple Paupers |
| 12. | Jason Thompson (Sac - PF,C) | Colostomy Bags |
As a recipient of the YES network on my standard cable, I can guarantee that Terrence Williams is straight up both awful in real life and fantasy. However, Wilson Chandler, while pretty horrible in person, is actually a quietly good defensive stats contributor, so I shall toot my own horn. My quest towards the punt assist team turned out pretty successful, despite starting with Deron Williams.
| Round 13 | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1. | Derrick Favors (NJ - PF) | Colostomy Bags |
| 2. | Wesley Johnson (Min - SF) | Purple Paupers |
| 3. | Grant Hill (Pho - SG,SF) | Tony Danza's Boshmen |
| 4. | Hakim Warrick (Pho - SF,PF) | Black Belt In Crotty |
| 5. | Shane Battier (Hou - SF) | Scrappy Coco |
| 6. | Omri Casspi (Sac - SG,SF) | Rondo's Jump Shot |
| 7. | Darko Milicic (Min - PF,C) | Zombie KY Colonels |
| 8. | Serge Ibaka (OKC - C) | Stockton to Ostertag |
| 9. | Ronnie Brewer (Chi - SG,SF) | Oliver Thriller |
| 10. | Charlie Villanueva (Det - PF) | Epitome of Sadness |
| 11. | Mike Bibby (Atl - PG) | AHL's Hedo Nightmare |
| 12. | Tracy McGrady (Det - SG,SF) | Free Mario! |
This was the greatest draft round in the history of draft rounds. Just look at that Basketbawful masterpiece. We were all rooting for Free Mario to make an epic draft pick and boy did he deliver beautifully. I'm so proud of you guys.
- AnacondaHL
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