Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Bawful After Dark: June 8, 2010

The reactions of the 6 people closest to the camera, from closest to furthest:
"Dude, that Laker girl is totally hot"
"Ooooh... Jumbotron..."

Speaking of Rajon Rondo, here's a little basketbawesome for you to read: Pat Forde -- formerly of my local Louisville Courier Journal newspaper -- breaks down Rajon Rondo's past and present with an excellent nine-page article.

Update! A late addition of footbawful too amazing to ignore: maple bars from gourmet doughnut shops are irresistable. Seriously, I would laugh and move on if this article was on The Onion or Sportspickle, but it's from the Associated Press. Unreal.

Yahoo! Sports' Johnny Ludden devoted an entire article to Ron-Ron's horrific possession in Game 2. Worth a read.

Desperate to remain relevant in The Summer of LeBron, the Miami Heat have unveiled their master plan to keep Dwyane Wade: a freaking billboard.
Hoping to re-sign Dwyane Wade when he enters free agency next month, the Heat has already extended the star guard a contract offer -- for all of South Florida to see.

The Heat took its "We Want Wade" recruiting campaign to new heights Monday when the team unveiled a billboard designed as a contract near Wade's neighborhood.
(And hey, speaking of contracts, check back in tomorrow afternoon for something so bawful it requires its own post)

One last non-basketball tidbit: According to an article posted by CNN, you can watch Darth Vader in Star Wars to learn more about mental illness. Additionally, you can watch Jar-Jar Binks to learn more about being a worthless sack of dog excrement that incites levels of hatred that cannot be equaled even by the Dark Side of the Force.

Worst of Game 2 in Pictures:

WTF Spanish Marshmallow
What's Pau Gasol pointing at?

Sheed and Terrell Owens
For some reason, Sheed and Terrell Owens hamming it up does not surprise me at all

If you can come up with any caption that makes this funnier than just the picture itself, you win... well, we can't give you anything, but we all win simply because this picture exists

Kobe is about to go all Pac-Man on Tony Allen's fingers

Andy Garcia
So, Andy Garcia, when's the Colonel Sanders bio-pic coming out?

Damn Sheed
"Damn Sheed, where the hell were you all season?"

Sad mustache is sad :(

NBA Finals - Game 3:
Lakers at Celtics - ABC, 9:00pm (Unless you're Evil Ted camping in the middle of absolute nowhere, then just pretend it isn't on TV)
Series tied at 1-1

Before we get to this preview, let's take a quick detour for a little nostalgia. See, it's impossible for me to see or hear "Lakers vs. Celtics" without immediately thinking about their duels in the 1980s. Likewise, it's impossible for me not to think about the old basketball video game Lakers vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs". I got it for Christmas when my parents got me a Sega Genesis, but my dad played it much more than I did. I was too busy playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and Mortal Kombat since those were the hot new games when I finally got my console. That being said, it was a totally awesome game, as you can see below:


(Technically the game didn't even come out until the 80s were over, but since I was either in diapers or in kindergarten the vast majority of the time prior to 1990, just bear with me here for a minute.)

Now, things are a little different today. (NBA 2K10 has slightly more realism than this game, for example) However, we still have three constants that held true from that timeframe to today:
1) Lakers vs. Celtics is a huge moneymaker for the NBA
2) 2D Sonic the Hedgehog games kick ass while 3D Sonic games are highly prone to sucking
3) Referees will make questionable calls and fans will complain about it

Beyond that, I don't know how the rest of this series will play out, including this game. All I know is that defense will create offense (especially for the Celtics), and my knees are in better shape than KG's. And I can probably provide more effective minutes on a basketball court than Shelden Williams did in Game 2, which is the lowest blow I can possibly dish out.

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