Bawful After Dark: Weekend Watch

It may look like Baron Davis wants to yell at Bennett Salvatore, but actually he is just straining to prevent his beard from launching off his face and strangling Salvatore
It's a good day, and the playoffs are almost here. Let's get to it.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

"Damn! Fighting for the chance to get knocked out of the first round of the playoffs is hard work!"

Come on Crazy Pills, you've got to step up your game. How can you let Beno Udrih have a better incredulous "that wasn't a foul!" face than you?
Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Pistons at Heat: Thank you NBA-TV for giving us a chance to remember just how bad a job Joe Dumars has done lately.

Mavericks at Frail Blazers: Not the best opportunity for the Mavs to clinch the West's #2 seed...

All The Other Friday Games:
Bricks at Magic: I can't wait for all the Mike D'Antoni facepalm pictures from this game.

Bucks at 76ers: Does anyone else miss when the Sixers were relevant?

Craptors at Hawks: (In honor of the Masters, I've gotta throw in a Tiger Woods joke, bear with me here...) I wonder if the Craptors are calling up the Hawks and leaving the following voicemail: "You gotta throw this game for me. Huge. Quickly."

Wizards Generals Bullets at Celtics: This is a "gimme" game for the C's, right? Right? (crickets)

Pacers at Crabs: Ah, a true test of just how badly the Pacers want to ruin their draft pick possibilities!

Jazz at Hornets: I wonder if Chris Paul actually wanted to come back for the last few weeks of the regular season even though they are going to miss the playoffs. Isn't his recovery being put at risk for no obvious reason?

Lakers at Timberwolves: Our last chance of the year to see the battle of the Triangle offenses. Well, okay, maybe "battle" isn't the best word to describe this. "Public humiliation" might be better. (If the Lakers dominate, the Timberpoops are humiliated. If the game is close to the Lakers lose because they just don't give a shit, that is truly embarrassing)

Bulls at Nyets: Nice gift from the scheduling gods for the Bulls' playoff chances.

Suns at Thunder: Ooh. This might be worth firing up the League Pass Broadband...

Bobcats at Rockets: This, on the other hand, not so much.

Grizzlies at Spurs: Here's a nice test to see if Manu and Company can keep the intensity turned up to 11.

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Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Spurs at Nuggets: Okay, this could be a good game if the Spurs have any energy left. Granted, they probably won't, but I'm holding out hope!

All The Other Saturday Games:
Nyets at Pacers: The Pacers are playing out of their minds, and the Nyets have no reason to keep trying since they no longer are the worst team in NBA history. 130-98 type of score here maybe?

Hawks at Wizards Generals Bullets: Going back to our other nickname for the Bullets, if Washington actually replaced their players with the guys on the Generals, would anybody notice?

Pistons at Bobcats: Only a few more days until we don't have to see the Pistons again until next season!

76ers at Grizzlies: Remember when the Grizzlies were playoff contenders? Those were strange, scary times.

Celtics at Bucks: Is it playoffs time yet in Boston? Damn. Come on. Just end the suffering.

Mavericks at Kings: Okay, this is a better opportunity for the Mavs.

Warriors at Clippers: Damn it. We just had a Clippers/Kings game. Why does the NBA need to torture us fans with another horrendous California teams game so soon?

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Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Magic at Crabs: Uh oh! A big Eastern Conference showdown and playoff preview!? (Or both teams just sleepwalk through the game since they have nothing to gain by playing hard and risking injury. Either or.)

Frail Blazers at Lakers: We dearly need flex scheduling of some sort to keep all the end-of-regular-season Lakers games off TV.

Bulls at Craptors: An NBA-TV broadcast! That should tell you how important this game is. (Because getting knocked out in four or at best five games in the first round is for some reason one hundred times better than missing the playoffs by one or two games)

All The Other Sunday Games:
Heat at Bricks: I simply cannot get over this stretch of crap teams the Heat get to play to cap the season. Unreal.

Timberwolves at Hornets: Sigh.

Thunder at Warriors: Well, if Kevin Durant really wants that scoring title, this has to be his best stat-padding opportunity game, right?

Rockets at Suns: I doubt the Suns will be as slow and careless on defense as the Jazz were the other night when they let Chuck Hayes score at will in the paint even though he's like 4'3".