Bawful After Dark: April Fool's Day Edition

Karate chop!
I'm not going to pull any pranks on you today. There's been enough good ones (and bad ones) to go around. My favorites? The fake police report for AJ Dauliero on Deadspin, and @notmikedunleavy faking retweets that Don Nelson was going to be fired and replaced by Mike Dunleavy. Those are high quality pranks. Believable enough to startle you at first, but ultimately obviously fake. And better yet, they aren't sponsored by Nike. Sigh.

Want to be entertained for a few silly minutes? Check out the ESPN.com NBA Playoff Simulator! It's only slighly less ridiculous than their awesome Trade Machine. You can choose to seed the first round of the playoffs through three pre-selected methods, or do custom seeding. Then it simulates each game and tells you who wins the NBA championship. I have tried using it once so far -- I let it seed the first round based on John Hollinger's predictions for maximum comedic value. According to this simulation, the Lakers will get upset by the 8th seeded Spurs in the first round, and the Atlanta Hawks will win the Larry O'Brien trophy. Yeah. Good luck with that.

This is most decidedly awesome, and makes Zaza Pachulia even more likeable than his fun-to-say-out-loud name already did.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Hey guys, why the moping? Aren't you making millions of dollars to play ball?
Oh, you let the Bullets get their only win in the entire month of March against you? Carry on.

Yes, the Bullets won in spite of Fabricio Oberto starting

Andray Blatche demonstrates how to do the Heimlich Maneuver
(What? You thought I was going to do a man love joke here?)

Submitted by Basketbawful reader Zaldy with the caption:
"Yes... they say it should hurt during your first time."

Nice "O-face," Johnny

Damn. Louis Amundson's "O-face" is even worse than I expected

Paul Pierce says "Stop watching! This is private!"

Doc Rivers must be getting tired of doing this

So must Kobe
Nationally Televised Games:
Magic at Mavericks: Dallas just got done playing an overtime game in Memphis last night. Just sayin'... In the meantime, hey, we get to see Ron Jeremy Stan Van Gundy on national TV again, so that's always a good thing.

Frail Blazers at Nuggets: Technically this is the second night of a back-to-back for Portland, but does running layup drills against the Bricks really wear you out that badly?