Bawful After Dark: April 12, 2010

The Leastern Conference playoff battle
It seems like just yesterday that the regular season kicked off and I still was naive enough to think the Celtics might be legitimate contenders. Ah, memories...

And yet, here we are, just days away from the end of another regular season. While we will get to see some hopefully entertaining basketball in the playoffs, we will have to bid adieu to teams such as the Clippers, Timberwolves, Kings, and Bullets for many long months. Oh, darn.

I have good news for Antoine Walker and Latrell Sprewell -- they've got a new buddy to hang out with in the former-NBA-player-poorhouse! Derrick Coleman is $5 million in debt. As noted by the brilliant NotMikeDunleavy, "Derrick Coleman is bankrupt? Unbelievable! He was so responsible in every other aspect of his life." He also wondered: "Who was better at handling money: Derrick Coleman or Derrick Coleman's NBA Jam character?"

I dunno. This is a total shock to me. You can't tell me buying a fur coat five fur coats isn't a great investment!

(You really didn't think I could say that with a straight face, did you? Yeah, you're right. I couldn't. But I tried, so give me credit for that much. That's better than half the NBA teams can say about the past week.)

Now, with that out of the way, let's move on so I can get out of here and go to the golf course. I need to get a head start since nearly half of the league will be doing it in just a couple days. The NHL already ended its regular season, so it's probably getting harder to get a good tee time.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

Free T-Shirt Excitement
Second only to Free Taco Excitement

"Oh my God! That ball is going to fall on my head!!"

Either Kendrick Perkins is being held down, or he is constipated. Or both.

"I can't believe I just let the Clippers beat us..."

Yes, you just lost to the Bullets. Feel shame.

When not getting in epic fights over bad coupons, this guy likes to play with rubber chickens at Pacers games
Nationally Televised Games:
Craptors at Pistons: A riveting battle of Eastern conference powerhouses. (Okay, I apologize. Sarcasm is fun, but that was just too over the top)

Mavericks at Clippers: ...Because of course when the schedule makers decided to throw this one on national TV, they thought "Hey, I bet the Clippers will be battling for a playoff spot!!"

All The Other Games:
Magic at Pacers: The Pacers have averaged almost 109ppg in the past dozen games, and 119ppg over the last four. Someone really should tell the Pacers that the preseason doesn't last all the way into March.

Heat at 76ers: The Sixers are about to play their last home game of the season. This is good considering they've won more games on the road than at home this year.

Bobcats at Nyets: Since I have nothing of interest to say about this game, go laugh at this terrible jersey.

Wizards Generals Bullets at Bricks: The more I look at the Bullets' depth chart, the more I wonder how David Stern hasn't intervened. You know how much he hates for his league (and, by proxy, David Stern) to be embarrassed, and any team that trots out Livingston, Young, Miller, Blatche, and Oberto for a starting five is a damn embarrassment.

Hawks at Bucks: A potential playoff preview and a battle for seeding. This game might actually not suck!

Timberwolves at Spurs: Oh, what the hell. Here's another horrifically bad jersey. (The comments are almost as funny as the picture itself)

Grizzlies at Nuggets: OJ Mayo's hurt, so he may be replaced by Marcus Williams. Yes, I just linked to his old Nets jersey a couple lines ago. And yes, this is the most exposure he has ever had in his career.

Thunder at Frail Blazers: Both teams are playing for 50 wins and for playoff seeding. So, remind me again, why isn't this game on national TV, yet the Clippers are?

Rockets at Kings: Tyreke Evans is just 24 points shy of joining the rookie 20/5/5 club with Oscar, Michael, and LeBron. Too bad his team still can't win.