Bawful After Dark: March 1, 2010

I don't know about you, but I am in mourning after the US Olympic hockey team squandered an opportunity for gold last night. Zach Parise's overtime-forcing goal with just seconds left in regulation even had my dad (who never watches hockey at all) jumping up and down. Netminder Ryan Miller was playing out of his freaking mind and the US team had tons of momentum. Then they came out in overtime and looked a little sluggish, had a defensive lapse, and Miller let Sidney Crosby score on a relatively soft, sloppy shot. Sonofabitch. Thankfully, since I'm a Penguins fan, I can go back to not hating Crosby starting tomorrow. Meanwhile, the NHL trade deadline looms. I'm still exhausted from covering the NBA's trade deadline. (Thank God I've got a vacation coming up in just a few short days. Hello, Reno!)

In basketball blogosphere news, JE Skeets is leaving Ball Don't Lie. Well, there's one less reason to visit Yahoo. (Sorry, forgot the awful exclaimation mark that makes every sentence featuring that website name feel awkward as a Chuck Hayes free throw. Let's try this again) Yahoo! (Okay, there we go. I feel dirty now.)

Speaking of Ball Don't Lie, here's a story they passed along: Michael Jordan might rename the Bobcats once he completes his purchase of the team. The suggestions by the Yahoo! commentariat are, for the most part, horrifically bad. Anyone here have any good team name suggestions?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Caption This!
What is Scott Skiles doing?

Darko Milicic just makes everything better

"OOOOH I love my Abraham Lincoln neck tattoo!!"

Wow, this is really... awkward. And homoerotic.

This isn't really bawful, but I had to post it:
The Nyets actually successfully executing the high screen!!

Yet another reason to hate the Lakers...

"Look! My best years are way behind us!"

Terrell Owens on Kobe's ice-cold shooting performance:
"That's my shooting guard. *sniffle*"

"Ooh, look at the buns on that one..."
"Yeah, he must work out."
Nationally Televised Games:
Magic at 76ers: I went through every picture from Orlando's Sunday night game, and as surprising as this is, I was not able to find a single picture where icicicles were hanging off the Pumaman's hands. Weird.

All The Other Games:
Bricks at Crabs: Enjoy this one, New York fans. It's the closest you'll get to having LeBron for a long, long while.

Mavericks at Bobcats: The Bobcats have never beaten the Mavericks. Ever. Think about that for a second. That's kind of impressive, actually. You know, in an "impressive as a trainwreck" kind of way.

Spurs at Hornets: Both teams are not performing as well as they'd hoped before the start of the season, and both are 5-5 in their last 10 games. I'm just going to pick the home team on this one and be done with it.

Hawks at Bulls: Every time I see the Bulls' win/loss record, I always have to do a double-take. It seems like it should be a lot worse with their erratic bipolar play, especially considering that early winter stretch of games that was uglier than Joakim Noah's face.

Frail Blazers at Grizzlies: It's been an entire month since the Grizzlies won at FedEx Forum. Doesn't that make FedEx a delightfully ironic sponsor? FedEx delivers, but the Grizzlies sure as hell don't.

Raptors at Rockets: When Chris Bosh is not in the game, I think we can safely resume calling them the Craptors. No hard feelings, Toronto fans. It's just the truth. As Chris noted, "Chris Bosh remains on the shelf, an opportunity for Discount Store to anonymously redeem a coupon good for thirty points."

Nuggets at Suns: Jason Richardson on his blown dunk that effectively destroyed the Suns' chances of victory on Sunday: "I don't like to miss dunks." Really? Insightful.

Jazz at Clippers: Articles referring to the Clippers as "surging" following this game? Zero.