Bawful After Dark: March 4, 2010

The Clippers can't even /facepalm properly
Hello, Thursday night! A couple news items from the Assocation. First, Allen Iverson is getting a divorce. I'll save my jokes until later when we learn more about what's going on with his daughter and so forth. Dude is a wreck right now, and I hate kicking someone when he's down.

Mavericks guard Jason Terry is going to undergo surgery tomorrow to repair a fractured orbital bone. Yes, he broke his face. Yes, I just shuddered thinking about that. And no, there is no truth to the rumor that his face was actually broken by Brittney Griner. She only punched one woman.

While this is completely not basketball related, I have to share this because it either a) the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life, or b) the most awesome thing I have ever heard in my life. Tim Burton is teaming up with "Wanted" director Timur Bekmambetov to do a cinematic adaption of the newly-released book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

"Lincoln" reimagines one of the great U.S. presidents as an axe-throwing, highly trained vampire assassin, promising to give new context to real historical events such as the Civil War and Lincoln's ascension to the White House . It begins with his mother's murder when he was still a young boy and his vow of revenge.

I am simultaneously disgusted and intrigued. It remains to be seen if Brian Scalabrine will play one of the vampires once his spray tan wears off. Also, DeShawn Stevenson's neck approves. No vampire's ever gonna bite that neck now.

And finally before we get to the bulk of the WOTN in Pictures, I caught this gem on the ESPN.com schedule.

Apparently Celtics fans aren't happy Jordan is buying the Bobcats and are protesting
Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Three opposing viewpoints on one play. Let's look at how they feel about this charging call...
Caron Butler: "C'mon! That was a blocking foul!"
Ryan Hollins: (mumbling something about brains since, based on his expression and pose, he apparently has somehow turned into a zombie)
Mustache Dude: "Beer man!"

Damn is interim Clippers coach Kim Hughes boring. I miss Dumbleavy. :(

Is it worth the millions of dollars to play for the Clippers?
(Who am I kidding? Of course it is)

Hand in the face on defense? Why not try an entire body in the face?

I will never know how Ray Allen was able to resist the temptation to deck Sheed at this very moment

I haven't seen anybody strain like this since Joe Cocker sang With A Little Help From My Friends

Few NBA players have as many consistently awesome facial expressions as Yi

When you're down by 40, it's hard to look sad rather than just completely dumbfounded
Nationally Televised Games:
Lakers at Heat: For some reason, the Heat match up fairly well against the Lakers and have consistently played them close since last year. That doesn't mean they ever actually, you know, win. But at least they keep it close! Moral victories, folks. Moral victories.

Jazz at Suns: Uh oh. Phoenix in a TNT game. While they may have finally won one, their TNT record still sucks something awful.

All The Other Games:
Grizzlies at Bulls: Noah, Rose, and Deng are all out. The Bulls face seven teams with winning records in their next eight games, including the Mavs, Magic, and Crabs. Oh, boy.