Bawful After Dark: March 2, 2010

Man love.
Tuesday night BAD. Let's do this thing. (Rolls up sleeves)

The latest NBA free agency rumor mill action has the Celtics looking into acquiring Michael Finley's decaying corpse. Because of course the one thing the Celtics are missing is an over-the-hill winger who shoots treys to complement their over-the-hill big man who shoots treys. (Insert Charlie Brown "ARGH!" sound here) The one positive? It'll make Sheed look ten times less atrocious. It's like the mediocre looking girl always standing next to the pudgy, unattractive girl with braces and a bad haircut -- it makes her look hot by comparison.

The best take on the Finley situation so far has come from the Fake Mike Dunleavy Twitter account: "Michael Finley is available! Not available: a time machine to bring back the version of Finley that was any good."

Ball Don't Lie passes along the news to us that Lamar Odom sleeps in a bed full of chocolate. Insane. Lamar Odom is like a taller, less overweight version of Homer Simpson.

(h/t Chris who e-mailed it to me simply with the subject: "Lamar Odom's making Shaq and Oliver Miller and Big Snacks pretty jealous right now." True.)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Unfathomable sadness

"Come closer, Al"

"I can't believe we just got killed by Jameer Nelson"

Falling on your damn head? Greg Ostertag approves

I don't care if this is a celebration. It's just plain stupid looking.

"This is the big one! I'm comin' to join you, Elizabeth! This is it!"
Nationally Televised Games:
Celtics at Pistons: I can't stand cigarettes, but the odds that this Celtics team has me smoking unfiltereds by the end of the season have to be 50/50 at this point.

All The Other Games:
Warriors at Heat: God this Heat team is a joke. They're a cobbled together mess that kinda-sorta works on rare occasion. Here's a visual representation:

That being said, the Warriors are just garbage.

Kings at Thunder: The Purple Paupers theoretically could win three straight for the first time since the end of November. Thankfully Kevin Durant and Company will not let that atrocity happen, especially not at OKC. Per Chris: "If you were wondering, the Kings have 5 times as many road losses as they do road wins. Just sayin'."

Pacers at Lakers: Kobe on Sunday's awful shooting performance: "God knows I love the triangle (offense), but I kind of had to get into a playoff mode a little bit today -- just put the ball in my hands and let me make the decisions. But I missed a lot of shots." So, what you're saying is that you made the decisions, but they were almost always the wrong ones, right Kobe?