Bawful After Dark: January 28, 2010

17-year-old LeBron shirtless in a cornfield
AKA: WTF?!
(via Andy Gray's SI Vault)
While I am still in a depressed state over the Nyets winning their fourth game of the season, I do have good news. Last night I decided to plunk down the $80 for the second half of the season's NBA League Pass Broadband. I figured I owed it to you guys to better provide entertaining writing. (Okay, I'm lying out my ass. I just wanted to watch more games.) Since it's TNT game night and there's only one other game tonight, that would mean I'd get to watch the Dinos and Bricks online! Thank God I have to bowl tonight so I won't accidentally watch that game instead of Celtics/Magic.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, you NEED to see this picture of Shaq back in high school (also via Andy Gray's SI Vault). It's hard to believe it's the same person as The Big Creaky, isn't it?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Not pictured: Jackie Christie running across the court to tackle the Raptor for tempting her man

Stop the presses! Don Nelson is wearing a tie!
He also apparently has learned to use The Force.
(Now if only he could apply it to winning basketball games...)

John Kuester and Rodney Stuckey admire OJ Mayo's, uh, assets

The Big Earplug

Come on, that looks nothing like Kobe! That can't be his!

Nationally Televised Games:
Celtics at Magic: KG steps back on the floor, and suddenly the Celtics remember how to play defense! Funny how that works. All I really can say about this game is that I pray it doesn't resemble their Christmas Day meeting. Ouch. That game was right up there with Sam Cassell and Popeye Jones on the ugly scale. Though it probably wasn't worse than this atrocity.

Mavericks at Suns: Accuscore says Phoenix is a 65% favorite in this game. Screw those guys. Haven't they seen the Suns play in the past month? And most importantly, this game is on TNT. If you need me or AnacondaHL tonight, we'll most likely be found crying near alcoholic beverages. Just letting you know.

All The Other Games:
Raptors at Knicks: Shockingly enough, the Dinos have scored at least 100 points in a franchise-record 11 consecutive games. On the other end of this game, what did Mike D'Antoni have to say about his team's 50-point loss to the Mavs the other night? "We really didn't play well against Dallas." However, the Raptors are on a back-to-back, and the Knicks have fresh legs...