Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Villaneuva goes MMA on Hollins

The Detroit Pistons: What could possibly make Detroit's home loss to the Cadavers even worse? How about Charlie Villanueva totally losing his shit?

Afterward, in a calmer moment, Chuckie V. said: "You gotta be careful with the quiet ones, right? At the end of the day that's something that happened on the court, it should stay on the court. I overreacted. He said some things that got me upset."

Speaking of saying things, as he was escorted back to the locker room, Villanueva reportedly said: "I will kill that dude. I don't give a (expletive)."

So, uh, what was that all about?

Said Charlie: "He threw an elbow, caught me in my leg. I told him, 'Just watch that elbow.' He said something real smart so I got angry in the heat of the moment, that's about it."

And they say these games are meaningless!

The Boston Celtics: Doc Rivers opted to rest his starters, so Boston's OT road loss to the Wizards Generals ranked only around a 2.7 on the "Meh" scale. Still, this game was notable for two things. First, Delonte West got injured again, re-spraining his right ankle during the third quarter. Then there was...

Von Wafer, Worst Player of the Night: Oh, man.

During overtime, with his team clinging to a two-point lead, Wafer threw down a wide open slam dunk and then paused out of bounds to pose crazy for the crowd. It would have been an awesome moment for him...except that he had actually missed the dunk. Oh, but it gets better. Jermaine O'Neal grabbed the offensive rebound, but Wafer spun around after his posing routine and ran into O'Neal, which caused The Drain to double-dribble. So, in one possession, Wafer managed to blow a dunk, look like the world's biggest asshat, and then force his own teammate into a turnover. This could very well be the worst play of the season.

See that look on Wafer's face after realization had dawned on him? That's the look of a man who may have killed whatever was left of his NBA career with one boneheaded moment. Memo to would-be NBAers and 10-day contract wonders: Wait until your at home, alone and in front of a mirror, to celebrate yourself.

JaVale McGee: He can thank Von Wafer for saving him from WPotN dishonors based solely on this rather spectacular fail: Stuffed at the rim by a man whose vertical leap may actually be measured in negative numbers.

The Miami cHeat: Yes, the cHeat won, and yes, thanks to the Celtics' overtime loss in Washington, they locked up the second seed in the Eastern Conference. Still...almost choking away a 20-point lead while the Hawks were resting their starters? LeBron, D-Wade and the Boshtrich versus Zaza Pachulia, Josh Powell, Jamal Crawford, Jeff Teague and Damien Wilkins...and the latter group stood firm and actually outscored the Nazgul-led cHeat in the fourth quarter? Just sayin'.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas: Seemingly out of nowhere, Big Z whipped a ball off Pachulia's back. What's even crazier about this particular cheap move is that Ilgauskas and Zaza are apparently pretty good friends.

I guess Pat Riley decided his team needed a tough guy and that Big Z was gonna be that guy. Zydrunas was ejected. Oddly enough, during the Celtics-cHeat game on Sunday, LeBron was not ejected when he threw a ball at Jermaine O'Neal. I'm sure that's just a coincidence.

Zaza Pachulia, quote machine: "I didn't know if it was the ball or a punch. I don't know what he was mad about. He's one of the greatest guys. I'm definitely going to call him. Or maybe I'll just text him. He probably won't answer my call right now."

Jrue Holiday: Today's ego-ectomy special via Sturla.

The Excremento Kings: I love this quote from the Thunder-Kings game. Said Kendrick Perkins: "I see this team really starting to play together. We're starting to think defense first." This on a night in which the Kings scored 37 points in the second quarter, finished with 112, and rookie DeMarcus Cousins scored a career-high 30 points and set Sacramento records for free throws made (18) and attempted (21). If only the Paupers hadn't given up 120 points on 57 percent shooting.

DeMarcus Cousins, quote machine: "(The move) is not something I'm thinking about, I'm a Sacramento King. The only thing I'm thinking about Wednesday is finishing this season with a bang. Like I said, I'm a Sacramento King."

The New Jersey Nyets: Sure. They lost at home to the Bobcraps when D.J. Augustin nailed a jumper with 1.1 seconds left. But just think: The Nyets have doubled their win total from last season!

The Toronto Craptors: You know what? I'm done dignifying their losses with a description. Let's go straight to the video:

The New Orleans Hornets: They shot 37 percent a set a season-low for points at home (78) while letting the Jazz shoot 55 percent and go up by as many as 17 points in the fourth quarter. And no: The Hornets were not resting starters. They were, in fact, fighting to stay out of eighth place in the West. Which they failed to do.

Said Willie Green: "We have to do a little bit of soul-searching and get back to Hornets basketball," Green said. "We've just got to get back to playing better defense. That has been our pillar all year long. ... Tonight, we let those guys push us around."

The Houston Rockets: Hm. Let's check the stat sheet: Dallas committed 20 turnovers, missed 13 of their 17 from three-point attempts, lost the rebounding battle 52-49 and Jason Terry missed a free throw that could have won the game with 1.5 seconds left in regulation. Does that tell you how bad the Rocketeers had to play to lose this game? Try 36.5 percent shooting. At home.

Said Houston coach Rick Adelman: "We wanted to go out and win this game, and we didn't."

Well said.

The Gol_en State Warriors: The Nuggets had nine players score in double figures. It was the first time Denver had done that since November 24, 1987. This despite the fact that Nene and Aaron Afflalo both left the game early due to injury. Oh, and did I mention that Kosta Koufos tied his career high with 18 points?

Yep. Typical Warriors.

More from LotharBot:

I know the Gol_en State Warriors' interior presence is somewhat lacking, but this game was ridiculous. They gave up 76 points in the paint to the Nuggets. Nuggets bigs also shot 14 for 20 on free throws, which I don't think count as points in the paint but definitely were points caused by GS not being able to stop Yi's chair. And it wasn't all the Nuggets' best players.

The starting center, Nene, didn't play in the second half. The third string center (Mozgov), backup powder forward (Harrington), and starting and backup small forwards (Gallinari, Chandler) were out. That's five guys 6'8" or bigger who were hurt, and still GS couldn't keep their remaining guys out of the paint. A lot of the damage was done by backup center Chris Andersen (14 points, 12 boards, 4 blocks) and fourth string center Kosta Koufas (a career high tying 18 points, 9 boards).

For the Warriors, "All Star" big man David Lee finished with 10 points, 5 boards, and no blocks. He's in the first year of a 6 year, $82 million contract.
By the way, high five to the Nuggets for reaching 50 wins minus 'Melo. And despite the 'Melodrama that went on before the trade.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: They are one of the rare teams in this league that could score 127 points on 55 percent shooting and win the rebounding battle 45-35...but lose anyway. Which is what they did last night in Phoenix. Extra kudos to Michael Beasley for blowing a free throw with 8.4 seconds left in regulation that could have won the game.

Said Beasley: "It hurts. I could have won the game with a free throw. It's going to haunt me tonight, but that's how it goes."

Chris's Uncanny Lacktion Ledger:

Heat-Hawks: Juwan Howard bricked once in 3:18 for a +1.

Celtics-Generals: Avery Bradley, just like his jersey number of zero, was unproductive in a game the leperchaun loyalists should have won: he had one miss, three fouls, and a turnover in 6:39 for a +5!

Jazz-Hornets: Patrick Ewing Jr. bit into a bouillon base of 1 trillion (62 seconds)!

Warriors-Nuggets: Melvin Ely elicited one brick in 2:14 for a +1.

Zombie Sonics-The Purple Paupers That Might Cost The Lakers A Half-Billion Dollars If The Maloofs Have Their Way In Order To Cover Their Casino-Renovation Debts: Daequan Cook baked one brick from the ovens at Pizza Rock for a +1 in 8:06.

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