Monday, April 11, 2011

Bawful After Dark: April 11, 2011

20110408-lebron-boshDouble LeBron-Bosh! What does it mean?? So intense.

(Glances at calendar)

Holy freakin' crap! It's almost the playoffs!

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

20110408-derek-fisherThere, I just summarized the Lakers' most recent games for you. You're welcome.

20110408-ron-artest-gerald-wallaceRon Artest Crazy Eyes!! Oh, how I've missed them.

20110408-bulls-fanWhat's the matter? MC Hammer want too much in royalties to fit "2 LEGIT" on your posterboard?

20110409-nuggets-fanNice bandana, cowboy. It'll be strangely appropriate when someone angrily tells him "Screw you and the horse you rode in on!"

20110410-rajon-rondo-mario-chalmersNothing says "rivalry" quite like two short guards making the least threatening faces possible during a skirmish

20110409-flip-saunders-ken-mauerWell, I suppose rendering the refs unconscious with a Vulcan Nerve Pinch is one way to get rid of bad calls against your team

20110411-jason-terryHerp a derp

20110411-mike-dantoniMike D'Antoni's reaction to an assistant suggesting his team play better defense was decidedly unpleasant

Nationally Televised Games:
Magic at 76ers, NBA TV, 7pm: Sneaky entertaining game. The Sixers took the first game in the season series, and the Magic won the next two by slim margins (one of those games even went to overtime).

Thunder at Kings, NBA TV, 10pm: The Purple Paupers have one more home game left on their schedule Wednesday night, but this will probably be your last opportunity to see a nationally televised game at the Power Balance Pavilion. So sad. I feel like Chris needs to pour one out for his dead homies team.

All The Other Games:
Heat at Hawks, 7pm: Per Adrian Wojnarowski, the Heat told Eddy Curry they were no longer interested in his services after several workouts with the team. Of course. He'd just be dead weight on their roster. 350 pounds of it.

Bobcraps at Nyets, 7pm: The only bright point for the Bobcraps the past few games? Kwame Brown's solid play. That has to be one of the most depressing things I have ever written.

Celtics at Wizards Generals, 7pm: This Celtics late-season coma is getting so out of hand, they're going to wake up in the playoffs with a wicked beard like Steven Seagal in Hard To Kill.

Cadavers at Pistons, 7:30pm: Josh Keown over at The Clearly Dope came up with an intriguing idea for a Lost prequel involving the Bad Boy Pistons crash-landing on the island (the Globetrotters got lucky -- they got Mary Ann and Ginger on their island). Upon my suggestion, Josh gave it a slight update to incorporate Michael Jordan. All I can say is there better be a casino and a golf course on that island, or MJ's gonna be pissed.

Jazz at Hornets, 8pm: In his last game, Chris Paul was held scoreless for the first time in his NBA career. His in-depth analysis? "I just couldn't make nothing." Of course! Now it all makes sense! He didn't score any points because he couldn't score points! (In other news, redundant sentence is redundant.)

Craptors at Bucks, 8pm: Short bench alert: Toronto could be without Bargnani, Calderon, Barbosa, and Johnson. This is great news for the Bucks as they're looking to sweep the season series for the first time since 2001-2002. Because, hey, if you can't make the playoffs, it's all about moral victories.

Mavericks at Rockets, 8:30pm: Short bench alert: Houston could be without Luis Scola and Kyle Lowry. This is great news for the Mavs as they're looking to sweep the season series for the first time since 2002-2003. (Sorry, couldn't help myself. Can't resist an opportunity to copy/paste almost an entire paragraph!)

Warriors at Nuggets, 9pm: Monta Ellis has a concussion and will not play the final two games of the year. oh no! What will they ever do without him?!

Timberwolves at Suns, 10pm: Depressing news from John Schuhmann: "A moment of silence for the end of The Nash Streak. 9 straight seasons leading the No. 1 team in offensive efficiency comes to an end."

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