Bawful After Dark: March 7, 2011

"You soccer football players sure are good at diving, but have you ever seen me dive while on rollerskates?"
We're getting deeper into the month of March. You know what that means: clanked trey after clanked trey, lots of random pointless passing to kill a 35-second shot clock, and the ever-annoying possession arrow. I live in college basketball country, where few people give a crap about the pros, but I really just don't get it. Yeah, I watch some college basketball. But I always end up feeling frustrated by the poor play, inferior rules, and the fact that there are approximately 18,391 teams that I am supposed to know about come tournament time. Can we please get to the NBA playoffs sometime soon?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Caption This!
What's up with Carmelo Anthony and Violet Palmer? And just what in the hell is Christian Eyenga doing?

"Hey! Cracker Jack guy! Over here!"

Larry Drew and Birdman Andersen, is there something you need to tell us?

Oh come on, Silas. Quit trying to blame it on someone else. Everyone knows he who smelled it, dealt it.

Further proof that playing with Vince Carter will give you a headache

I'm not sure what's happening here, but it sure looks bawful, and it doesn't surprise me that Jon Brockman is involved

Uh, Tony, I'm pretty sure "Headbutting" is an offensive foul just like charging

All The Games:
Frail Blazers at Magic, 7pm: Those who had early March on their "when will Dwight Howard get suspended for picking up too many technical fouls" office pools, please collect your winnings.

Clippers at Bobcraps, 7pm: Eric Gordon: Out indefinitely. Clippers' hopes to no longer be who we thought they were: (Still) Out indefinitely.

Jazz at Knicks, 7:30pm: Carmelo: "Man, getting poked in the eye hurts!" Amar'e: "I see what you mean."

Hornets at Bulls, 8pm: So much for that epic Chris Paul/Derrick Rose matchup. By the way, if you haven't read Lee Jenkins' recent SI feature on Derrick Rose, I highly recommend it.

Mavericks at Timberwolves, 8pm: Nobody really cares about who wins or loses this game. We just want to see if Kevin Love can tie Moses Malone's double-double streak. (And I apologize in advance if I just stat cursed the hell out of Kevin Love. I really hope I didn't.)

Thunder at Grizzlies, 8pm: What's more odd: that Zach Randolph has transformed into one of the best power forwards in the NBA, or that we've basically come to accept this as fact and no longer give it much thought? Wasn't Z-Bo headlining our friggin' banner mere months ago?

Rockets at Kings, 10pm: And the sad saga of the Maloofs screwing over Sacramento continues. I'm really, really not looking forward to the Anaheim Kings.