Bawful After Dark: Trade Deadline Day!!

You can't hide, Tyreke. We know you still play for the Kings.
It's Trade Deadline Day! All trades must be done by 3pm EST. We'll try to keep you up to date as trades happen and give you a fairly comprehensive list.

Trade Deadline Watch:
According to Marc Stein, Robert Sarver told Amar'''''e last night in closed-door meeting that Apostrophe is unlikely to be traded. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Excuse me while I go break something.

UPDATE: Chad Ford just tweeted: "Latest: Hearing one team is making a last-minute push for Amare. Suns source says a deal "may" happen." I hope to God the Suns aren't just messing with me again. GET THIS DEAL DONE!

Chad Ford has posted another update: "Amare is staying in Phoenix. Last minute bid failed. Sarver, Kerr, Stoudemire & agent meeting for dinner tonight to calm waters." FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. If you hear my car starting in the garage even though the garage door is closed, don't come and rescue me.

Also per Chad Ford, a proposed trade between the Pacers and Bobcats involving T.J. Ford for D.J. Augustine and Nazr Mohammed was NOT able to be done and talks fell apart in the last hour.

Boozer-to-Miami talks happened, but the Jazz were decidedly not interested. No deal.

UPDATE: John Hollinger brings us news of a Null-Star getting moved! "Looks like Wash just got under the luxury tax and won't need Z's help to get there ... @MrMichaelLee says they're paying Sac to take McGuire"

Final Trades:
According to ESPN's Molly Qerim, "Celtics acquire Nate Robinson from Knicks for Eddie House, J.R. Giddens in 5-player trade" I don't know any more than that, but I'm going to go look at her Twitter page again just to see her background picture for a few more minutes.
UPDATE: JE Skeets passes this along: "Nate Robinson trade official: Nate and Marcus Landry for Eddie House, JR Giddens and Bill Walker"

Grizzlies get: Ronnie Brewer
Jazz get: Protected first round pick

Bricks get: Knee-Mac and Sergio Rodriguez
Rockets get: Kevin Martin, Jared Jeffries, Jordan Hill, Hilton Armstrong, and right to swap first-round picks with NYK in 2011 and New York's first-rounder in 2012 (per Chad Ford, Bricks' pick in 2011 is Top-1 protected; In 2012, Bricks' pick is Top-5 protected)
Kings get: Carl Landry, Joey Dorsey and Larry Hughes (and his expiring contract)

Bobcats get: Tyrus Thomas
Bulls get: Flip Murray, Acie Law and future 1st round pick

Bucks get: Primoz Brezec and Royal Ivey and a second-round draft pick
76ers get: Jodie Meeks and Francisco Elson

Bucks get: John Salmons, rights to swap first-round picks with Bulls (top-10 protected) Chicago gets: Hakim Warrick and Joe Alexander

Crabs get: Antawn Jamison, Bassy Telfair
Bullets get: Zydrunas Ilgauskas, rights to Emir Preldzic, 2010 first-round draft pick from Cavs and Al Thornton.
Clippers get: Drew Gooden (unknown if his weird neck beard patch thingy gets to come to LA)

Knicks get: Brian Cardinal (who apparently will be waived to make room for other trades)
Timberwolves get: "Human Victory Cigar" Darko Milicic, and cash

Blazers get: Marcus Camby
Clippers get: Travis Outlaw's injured body, Steve Blake, cash to help pay off Donald Sterling's lawsuits (To make room on the roster, the Clippers waived Ricky Davis)

Bullets get: Josh Howard, James Singleton, Quinton Ross, plus Drew Gooden (who was then traded to Clippers in another deal),
Mavericks get: Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood, DeShawn Stevenson and his crazy ass tattoos

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

"I'm getting sent to the Kings?! NOOOOOO"

"I'm getting paid to play in LA with no expectations? Allllright."

Man, there sure were a lot of examples of "Ball." last night

Teabag.

"I've got my fists clenched, so it's not gay"

Shouldn't he be in a fountain in somebody's yard spitting a stream of water?
Nationally Televised Games:
Nuggets at Crabs: This could be the first chance for us to see Antawn Jamison suit up for Cleveland. Because of course he'll be such an important game-changer unlike that LeBaron or LeBran or whatever that dude's name is.

Celtics at Lakers: Oh, damn it all.