Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Bawful After Dark: February 3, 2010

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Another horrific loss, another sad bench photo. Yep, it's a weekday on Basketbawful.

Ah, Groundhog Day is finally over. So glad to see nobody here had to wake up and try to seduce Andie MacDowell in a movie. Though, now that I think about it, if you did wake up as Bill Murray as I mentioned yesterday, you'd get to eventually work your magic on Scarlett Johansen in Lost in Translation, so I guess we could call it a push. Anyway, it's time for BAD.

Bawful Trade of the Day:
Well, based on the overwhelming response to my Bawful Trade of the Day suggestion yesterday, I'd say you all liked the idea! The trade deadline is on Thursday February 18. Starting tomorrow night, I'll post one trade (or maybe a couple if I'm in the mood, you won't complain about extras, right?) in every BAD post until the trade deadline hits.

So please keep working the Trade Machine and submitting your ridiculous trades so that I have plenty to choose from. Turning the Nets into a 50-win team by destroying the Lakers? Fun. Blowing up the Knicks in an unfathomably evil four-team clusterfuck trade? Hilarious. Including as many lacktion null-stars as possible in your trades? Highly encouraged. What do you win if one of your trades is selected and posted? Uh...the possibilty that someone from the Clippers will see it and try to push it through in real life. And that's about it.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

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Josh Smith's experiment with "Dying Slug Defense" was widely considered a failure


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"As soon as this game ends, I'm getting the hell out of here!"


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Tug of war!!


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Lionel Hollins gently takes the player/coach relationship one step further


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You're doing it wrong.

Nationally Televised Games:
Heat at Celtics: Alright, so KG moves like a gigantic Tiny Tim (either the Dickens character, or the dead ukulele player, same difference), and Paul Pierce's foot is jacked up. Oh, and now, locker room problems! That being said, the Heat are the basketball equivalent of a herpes sore. They get better for a little while, but the crappiness just keep coming back.

Suns at Nuggets: The Nuggets are 22-3 at the Pepsi Center. The Suns have won two straight road games after losing a dozen of their last 13 trips outside of Arizona. Can you guess which team I feel more confident about? ...Sigh.

All The Other Games:
Clippers at Hawks: So, the Clippers lucked into a win in Chicago last night. I know, I don't get it either. But now they're 2-5 on this road trip, and they get to play a Hawks team that's been very tough at home? Please please please let this be a return to normalcy.

Bulls at 76ers: Speaking of the Bulls... I don't have a freaking clue one as to how this game plays out. I mean, they just got whupped at home by the woefully inept and cursed Clippers. Nothing makes sense anymore. I'm not freaking out, I'm just bizarro pissed off.

Nyets at Raptors: The Raptors have one loss in two weeks. The Nets...are the Nyets. That is all.

Wizards Generals Bullets at Knicks: The Bullets are 16-31. The Bricks are 18-29 (even without Zeke leading the failure!). I have no words to describe how bad this game will be. The English language was never meant to be that ugly.

Thunder at Hornets: Did you know the Hornets are 5-5 with Chris Paul not in the lineup? Did you also know that this season they're only 26-22 overall? Don't get me wrong, Chris Paul is one of the best point guards in Association, but you can't just assume the Hornets can't win without him, and just the same you can't just assume they'll win with him.

Warriors at Mavericks: This is not a good time for Dallas to catch a Don Nelson offense. The Mavs defense has been pretty nasty lately, and if the Warriors can hit shots, they'll give the Mavs all they want. (But they'll still probably lose because, hey, it's the Warriors and Don Nelson. That's just how they roll.)

Frail Blazers at Jazz: Let me get this straight. The second we officially name Utah one of the league's "Bipolar Girlfriend" teams, they get on a hot streak and start destroying everyone in sight. We said the same thing about the Heat and they immediately turned to a gigantic piece of PF Chang created shit. Do we have that much influence over the league? I feel like a poor man's Anthony Fremont.

Spurs at Kings: Bad news? The Spurs are starting an eight-game road trip that lasts 3 1/2 weeks broken up by the All-Star game. The good news? They get to start in Sactown where they've dominated the Purple Paupers. Lucky them.

Bobcats at Lakers: Somehow, the Bobcats have won their last three times at the Staples Center despite being only 6-18 on the road this year. If anyone can explain that to me, I'd appreciate it.

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