Bawful After Dark: February 4, 2010

This is your halftime entertainment on Fan Appreciation Night, Toronto Raptors fans? It's really, really sad when your own franchise doesn't respect you.
Are you ready for the Thursday night TNT games? Since those are the only two games played tonight (as with many Thursday nights), I have to switch up my style a little to fill the space. I never could get the hang of Thursdays...

Breaking news! This restaurant in Canada encourages its customers to have sex in its bathrooms. Oh, and that sound you just heard was Rick Pitino speeding off to the airport. (They specifically mention they won't be supplying any condoms, but I don't think that'll matter much to Slick Rick. Birth control isn't walking through that door!)

Bawful Trade of the Day:
We're counting down the days to the 2010 trade deadline with horrendous trades created in the ESPN Trade Machine. Keep submitting your entries. Even if yours doesn't get posted on the site, many people will still see it in the comments.

My first selection goes to my co-editor AnacondaHL. No, it's not just because we're both writers here. First, I loved his confidence in proclaiming it the Basketbawful Trade of the Night in his comment, but also the trade just slays me. Vince Carter for Ray Allen, straight up. According to the Trade Machine, the Magic lose two more games a year and the Celtics gain a win. What?? Bringing a headcase SWAC in to replace a more-than-legitimate shooter will improve their record? I just don't see Vinsanity bringing together the locker room to help them get motivated for victory...

Bonus trade! Basketbawful reader kingofkansascity suggests this ridiculous three-way swap. The Heat acquire Kwame Brown, "Human Victory Cigar" Darko Milicic, and Eddy "My Contract Weighs as Much as My Ass" Curry. The Pistons acquire Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal. And finally the Bricks obtain Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon. As noted by the artist who painted this beautiful piece of artwork: "Entertaining because somehow, acquiring the rotting corpse of Jermaine O'Neal while dumping Villanueva, Gordon and Kwame Brown doesn't help or hurt the Pistons. Just equal levels of suck being exchanged." Agreed. I also just liked seeing Kwame Brown's name again. If Smush Parker had shown up in this trade, I would have fallen out of my chair.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Holy hell! When did AK47 morph into the love child of Dirk Nowitzki and Lurch?(h/t Shayan of Mediocre Forever)

I don't think they are thinking "BALL" right now...(h/t Shayan)

Don't you usually have to pay extra for a massage like that at the Asian spas?(h/t Shayan)

So, which of these two guys should we start calling "Missionary Man" from now on, Sefolosha or Peterson?

There are roughly 40 faces in this picture, and only two of them are smiling. Just a hunch, but I think Denver lost this game...

More fun with numbers:
14 of the 48 AP pictures ESPN.com posted for this Bullets/Bricks game are of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. What does that tell you?

Somebody get Mike Woodson some Ex-Lax!

It's amazing how Mike Dunleavy doesn't have to be doing anything particularly interesting in his photos, and they still always make me laugh

"Oh yeah, I really miss playing for you, Coach!"

"Is Tim Duncan gonna have to choke a bitch?"
Nationally Televised Games:
Heat at Crabs: These LeBron/D-Wade games are interesting since they almost always end up having similar box score lines. However, that's where the line gets drawn on "interesting." The fresh-legged Crustaceans have won both matchups so far, and as evidenced by a loss to the Celtics last night, the Heat still are still a worse trainwreck than Skeleton Man.

Spurs at Frail Blazers: Well, San Antonio did win their road trip opener against the Purple Paupers... by two points. That does not bode well for their future. Meanwhile, the injury-plagued Frail Blazers dropped a home game to Utah last night. So, both teams not performing their best on the second night of a back-to-back? Thank God this is the late game so I will be in bed for most of it.