Worst of the Night: November 29, 2010

"Hangnail! Hangnail! Get me my wheelchair!"
The Associated Press: The Heat snapped their three-game losing streak with a homecourt blowout of the Washington Wizards Generals...a team that entered the game 5-10 overall and 0-7 on the road. Impressive, right? Am I right?

Yeah.

Anyway, I love this opening to the AP recap: "LeBron James and Erik Spoelstra had a pregame meeting Monday afternoon to talk about Miami's offensive woes. Early returns suggest it was a productive chat."

What...because the Heat scored 105 points on 45 percent shooting? That's productive? For a team featuring LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh? Facing a depressing Generals squad that came in ranked 26th in Defensive Rating and was without John Wall (bruised right knee), Al Thornton (ankle) and Ji Jianlian (knee)?

Talk about lowered expectations.

I should also give a special shoutout to ESPN Stats and Information for the following: "The Heat stepped up their transition defense on Monday, in the process outscoring the Wizards 21-8 in transition." We are then treated to a table indicating that Washington scored only 8 points on 37.5 percent shooting and committed 3 turnovers in transition.

I'm sure the absence of Wall had nothing to do with that.

Anyway, it just feels like the media wants us to get all excited that the Heat finally won a game against a crappy team. Yes, yes, I get it. Blowing out bad teams matters. It's a good thing, too, because Miami's next two games are against the Pistons and Cavaliers. So I boldly predict a three-game winning streak and 17.4 tons worth of drool from the Associated Press and other media outlets...

...and plenty of vomit among NBA fans.

That said, there was at least one NBA fan who was feelin' the Heat last night. The Other Chris said: "I'd like to thank the NBA, ESPN and whoever else makes the national television schedule for fellating the Nazgul as the feature game. This means I get to watch New Orleans/Oklahoma City game on League Pass instead of it being blacked out, as it would be any in any sane universe, as it is the vastly superior basketball game. Thanks, LeDouche!"

Associated Press, unintentionally dirty quote machine: "Wade's personal spurt ended with 3:17 left in the period..."

Hilton Armstrong versus Joel Anthony and Juwan Howard: I know I should take something like this more seriously, but come on. It looks like something out of a Three Stooges short. And isn't it amazing how easily NBA players go down these days? They're like a bunch of Bop-a-Clowns.


Said Armstrong: "I wasn't really trying to hurt him or anything like that, I just didn't want him to have any easy dunk or an easy lay-up. You clearly saw he lost his balance when he was in the air. I didn't mean to hit him that hard, but he fell. I went to go try to help him out, but then Howard came and pushed me in the back."

Added Erik Spoelstra: "I think it's great."

I don't know about great, Erik. But bawful? Absolutely.

Dwyane Wade and the Miami broadcasting team: An anonymous reader said:

This actually just happened, no exaggeration.

After Dwyane Wade airballed a dunk attempt (hereafter known as "pulling a Joel Anthony"), the Miami announcers came back with this gem. "That hangnail is really bothering him".

I've been laughing for the past 2 minutes. Bawful in it's purest form right there.

It's true. According to one report: "Dwyane Wade briefly left Monday's win over Washington with what the Heat called a hang nail. He returned wearing tape on his left wrist and could not get into any kind of rhythm early on in the game."

I'm surprised the medical staff didn't bring out the wheelchair.

For the record, WebMD defines a hangnail as "the strip of skin that separates from the side of the cuticle."

Simple home treatment can help prevent problems with hangnails:

Do not pull at or bite off a hangnail. This may cause the skin to rip.

Clip off the hangnail neatly with sharp, clean cuticle scissors.

Massage hand lotion or cream into your cuticles 2 to 3 times each day.

STOP BEING A DAMN VAGINA!!

Sadly, I don't have video of Wade's blown dunk. I do have this tho':


And because Sorbo provided the link, here's one of the great airballed dunks in the history of Western Civilization:


The New Orleans Hornets: Make it four losses in their last five games. I won't say the ship be sinkin'...but it's definitely dropped temporary anchor in the Sea of Suck.

The Hornets actually played some pretty stiff defense -- holding the Thunder to 95 points on 37 percent shooting -- but they were pounded on the boards (56-36 and 16-5 on the offensive glass) and simply ran out of gas during the fourth quarter. Over those final 12 minutes, the Thunder used a 14-0 run to outscore New Orleans 27-19.

Said Hornets coach Monty Williams: "I thought we competed our tails off tonight on the road in a tough back-to-back. The ball didn't go down. It happens in this league."

You know what else happens in this league?


And man, how about that Russell Westbrook, huh? The line: 25 points, 11 assists, 5 steals. And he scored 12 of the points in OKC's 14-o fourth quarter run. That's right, it was Westbrook -- and not Kevin Durant -- who took over in clutch time for the Thunder. And as ESPN Stats and Information pointed out: "He is averaging almost 24 points a game, and along with LeBron James, is the only player in the NBA averaging 20 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists."

This truly is the Age of the Point Guard.

Monty Williams, quote machine: Regarding Westbrook's various miscues with the basketball: "He had eight turnovers, but I thought it worked in his favor."

Russell Westbrook, quote machine: "Whatever the game tells me to do, that's kind of what I do."

But...but what if the game tells you to kill mommy and daddy with lawn darts? I would suggest selective listening, Russell. Can a game that made Greg Ostertag a multi-millionaire be trusted? I say no.

The Houston Rockets: I know they were playing on the second night of back-to-backs after a gritty win over the Thunder. And I know the Mavericks were playing at home and, frankly, are one of the best teams in the league right now. And of course Aaron Brooks and Yao Ming are still out. But damn, this team is starting to depress me.

Dirk Nowitzki, unintentionally dirty quote machine: "When a guy is hot like that, you've got to milk it."

Rick Carlisle, coach of the year candidate: From the AP recap:

Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle wasn't calling plays during the third-quarter stretch. All of Butler's points came in what the Mavs call a "flow" offense.

"When a guy gets going, our guys do a good job of finding him," Carlisle said. "We aren't doing a lot of play-calling right now."

The Milwaukee Bucks: Ugh. The Deer were without Andy Bogut (sore back), Drew Gooden (foot), Corey Maggette (flu-like symptoms!) and Carlos Delfino (birthing a human-alien hybrid from his stomach). As a result, the biggest deficit the Jazz had to overcome in this one was two points. They did, however, build a 24 point lead before kicking back and cruising in for a 109-88 win.

Said Deron Williams: "Any time you play a team that's missing a lot of guys, it can be a dangerous game because youo expect to win, you know you should win. But at the same time it's the NBA and these are NBA players. They played hard. They were just a scrappy team tonight."

Yeah, well, Team Scrappy got outshot 55 percent to 34 percent, outrebounded 48-26 and outscored 54-18 in the paint. The Bucks should thank their stars and garters Utah committed 20 turnovers or they might have scrapped their way to a 40-point loss.

On the bright side, Chris Douglas-Roberts scored a season-high 19 points and Ersan Ilyasova added a season-high 18.

By the way, ya think the Jazz have adapted to Al Jefferson and vice versa? Last night, Big Al had 20 points on 11-for-14 shooting to go along with 11 rebounds and 4 blocked shots. Speaking of which...

Al Jefferson, quote machine: "When we want to, we can play defense."

Of course, that's always been the case with Jefferson. He's just never, you know, wanted to before. But now he knows Jerry Sloan will kick his ass if he doesn't D up. Makes a difference.

John Salmons, Worst Player of the Night: Remember how Salmons caught fire when he was traded to the Bucks right before the deadline? Yeah, well, the Bulls had the same experience the previous season. The Fish Man had been red hot when Chicago dealt for him the previous February and then started the season on ice. Well, he went 1-for-11 against the Jazz last night and 36 percent on the season.

Check out his splits from last season. He's pretty much on target for his early season production. Or lack thereof. And considering how key Salmons was to Milwaukee's late-season run last season, it's not hard to understand why they've been struggling to score points (30th in both PPG and Offensive Rating) and win games.

On that subject, last night I was at the doctor's office and they had the Sports Illustrated NBA Preview issue in the waiting room. SI expected the Bucks to control the Central Division this season...even though Corey Maggette, Drew Gooden and John Salmons made up three-fifths of Milwaukee's projected starting lineup.

And all I could think was: "Has anyone at SI actually followed the these guys' careers?"

Look, I know the Bucks have had some injuries and illness or whatever. But they're 6-11 overall, 2-7 on the road, and currently scraping the bottom of their division. Scott Skiles can work minor miracles with crap rosters, and he'll probably scream this group of misfits back up to .500-ish at some point.

I'm just not Fearin' the Deer is all I'm saying.

Al Jefferson, quote machine: "They were short tonight, but that's a great team."


Andre Kirilenko, quote machine: "You've seen the Energizer Bunny. [Earl Watson and Ronnie Price] are our Energizer Bunnies. They come on the floor and give us a big spark on offense and defense. They are amazing."

Huh. I wonder if The Russian Rifle wants to use his once-a-year deal for an amazing night with Price and Watson.

Tracy McGrady, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Basketbawful reader Wade Wisdom e-mailed this instant classic Knee-Mac quote: "That guy might be getting off, but the other guy [isn't]." If you demand context, here it is.

Basketbawful reader zyth also left that quote in the BAD comments and noted that McGrady even used to make porn faces.

Bonus Bawful: Basketbawful reader Mark L. e-mailed me a link to this video and has officially nominated it to become "Bawful: The Song."


Chris' Lacktion Report:

Generals-Heat: Looks like Eddie House will get to have fun time in South Beach, after collecting 1.7 trillion in play money (1:43)!

Rockets-Mavs: Ishmael Smith smoothed out trans-Texas relations by giving the ball away to Dallas once in 7:34 for a +1 suck differential.

Brian Cardinal bricked once from Fountain Place in 6:28 and also took a foul for a +2.

Bucks-Jazz: Kyrylo Fesenko improvised a foul in 5:45 for a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Bawful After Dark: November 29, 2010

Michael Jordan discusses the intricacies of Rock, Paper, Scissors with Captain Jack
The latest news on Antoine Walker's delightfully bawful comeback* -- he plans on signing with the Idaho Stampede. This is glorious. Of course the one little caveat is that this is pending a background review. Considering this is Antoine "I have gambling debts galore!" Walker we're talking about, you never know...

* Can we even really consider it a comeback? It is just the D-League after all... If he actually makes it back onto an NBA roster, then I'll call it a comeback

Want to drink for free? Head down to the Whiskey Tango in Hollywood, FL -- they're handing out free drinks whenever the Miami Heat lose. And it's cost the bar $30,000 in free drinks so far this season. Don't worry -- the owners aren't complaining since it's giving them plenty of publicity. However, if they start doing this for Clippers games too, they'll be in trouble.

And before I forget to mention it: R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen. I have much respect for the master of deadpan delivery.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
Wow, good thing nobody comes to Miami games. This could have been dangerous!

You must be this tall to play

Someone please go tell Hedo that his team actually is winning this game

"What the hell are you looking at? Never seen a grown man hug his invisible friend before?"

Here are some things Vince Carter loves:
1) Being injured
2) Ill-fitting suits

This suit, on the other hand, is stylish by 1970s ABA standards

Donte Greene is sad

Tom Thibodeau enjoys making Donte Greene sad
Nationally Televised Games:
Rockets at Mavericks, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Dallas just keeps on winning. Houston just keeps on being slightly worse than mediocre, but slightly better than Clippery bad.

All the Other Games:
Wizards Generals at Heat, 7:30pm: As bad as things are in Miami right now, at least they aren't the Generals. Aside from, you know, being a team based in Washington DC, the Generals are banged up. John Wall is questionable, Yi Jianlian is still busy sitting on chairs instead of posting them up. Al Thornton likely will be out as well. The team is winless away from home this year, but gets to play 5 of their next 6 on the road. Damnation. And I'd like to point out that the Heat are still over .500, so it could be much, much worse, Miami fans.

Hornets at Thunder, 8pm: Since relocating to OKC, the Thunder have not beaten the Hornets when Chris Paul has been in the lineup. Dude just owns them. He's even got a sweet little certificate of ownership and everything.

Bucks at Jazz, 9pm: Milwaukee's got the injury blues almost as bad as Washington. Bogut, Gooden, Maggette, and Delfino are all injured at the moment. Though I'm pretty sure losing Maggette is addition by subtraction.

Worst of Thanksgiving Weekend

"Leadership. We needs it."
"Leadership. We really needs it."
"Serious medical help. We really, really needs it."
Editor's note: Due to a Turkey-related coma-like condition, this is an abbreviated version of the standard WotW post. Also, Antoine Walker is about to make a comeback. In the D-League. It's like Christmas came on Thanksgiving.

The Milwaukee Bucks: Even though their season has been pretty disappointing so far, the Bucks have been able to boast a defense that ranks 1st in Opponents PPG and 2nd in Defensive Rating. Then the equally disappointing Pistons -- who are in the bottom half of the league in Offensive Rating -- went out and dropped 103 points on them on 56 percent shooting. I guess they were stuck in a 24-hour Turkey Coma.

Said Milwaukee coach Scott Skiles: "We weren't sharp ... right from the beginning. I could see we were a couple of steps slow."

Shane Battier, quote machine: After going 1-for-9 in Houston's 99-89 loss to the Bobcraps in Charlotte, Batty said: "It's a make-or-miss league. By that, when you miss shots, the sky is falling down. When you make shots everything is honky-dory. Sometimes it is as simple as that."

Chris Bosh, quote machine: After the Heat barely managed to beat the 76ers (3-13) in Miami: "We're going to get teams' best. That's how it's going to be all season. ... If we had the answers to the test, believe me, we'd have used them a long time ago."

Dwyane Wade, quote machine: After the Heat barely managed to beat the 76ers (3-13) in Miami: "We've got to get away from worrying about how we get wins. We have to focus on getting wins."

LeBron James, quote machine: After the Heat barely managed to beat the 76ers (3-13) in Miami: "Guys just get up to play us. We just have to treat everybody ... like they're All-Stars."

Doug Collins, emo coach of the year candidate: After the Heat barely managed to beat the 76ers (3-13) in Miami: "They put so much work into this. It just rips at my gut that they can't taste a win. They just fought so hard. So hard."

The San Antonio Spurs: They had their win streak snapped at home by the Dallas Mavericks. Dirk Nowitzki was crazy-hot (12-for-14) and the Mavs shot 52 percent as a team. But the Spurs doomed themselves with a dreadful 2:45 stretch of basketball in the fourth quarter.

After George Hill hit a layup to put San Antonio up 88-86, the Spurs' next five possessions went: Tony Parker missed 9-footer, offensive rebound then turnover, Tim Duncan Turnover, Duncan missed 11-footer, Manu Ginobili turnover, Ginobili missed three-pointer. Nowitzki followed that Manu miss by nailing a 19-footer to put Dallas ahead 95-88 with 1:44 left. Game over.

Delayed Turkey Coma?

Said George Hill: "You can blame it on the little turkey or whatever. But it happens, it's been a good journey so far. The only thing we can do is focus on Sunday."

John Lucas / Tom Thibodeau / Chicago Bulls: On Friday night, the Derrick Rose-less Bulls were this close -- THIS CLOSE -- to knocking off the Nuggets in Denver. Chicago was up 97-96 with 24 seconds left. Knowing the Nuggets had to foul, Thibodeau put in his all-free-throw-shooting lineup, which included Lucas...who had been signed that very day. Lucas inbounded and Denver waited to foul until the ball had been passed back around to him. He stepped up to the line, missed 'em both. Surprise, surprise.

Of course, the Bulls still could've won the game. They forced Carmelo Anthony into a turrible shot, but the ball managed to roll past three Chicago players out of bounds. Denver still had possession with four seconds left. And despite knowing that the ball would probably get passed directly in to 'Melo for a jumper, the Bulls didn't deny the pass to Anthony. Then Luol Deng bit on a stutter dribble and backed up the half a foot 'Melo needed to launch the game-winner. Clutch fail.

Carmelo Anthony, quote machine: "See, I told you. I take that same shot, nine out of 10 times, I'll make it. Whether he contested it or not, whether he got a hand in my face or not, once I get a good look at the rim, I don't really think there's nothing nobody can do."

Free throws in general: From Basketbawful reader LotharBot:

This week has been one of the greatest anti-clutch free throw weeks ever. Bawful could run a "bricked free throws" feature and have plenty of material. I know of five games where bricked FT with under 2 minutes left changed the complexion of the game, and the bricking team went on to lose all five.

We had Trevor Ariza for the Hornets against the Clippers on Monday, down 2 with 21 seconds left and clanking both ft.

Then there was Evan Turner for Philly on Tuesday, with a 3 point lead and 8 seconds left against the Wiz, bricking both FT, which left the game close enough for John Wall to send it to OT.

On Wednesday, Jason Richardson hit 1 of 2 with 5 seconds left in the first OT, leaving his Suns with only a 2 point lead. This allowed Derrick Rose to send it to 2OT (with an easy 2 rather than a difficult 3), where the Bulls ran away with it.

Today is Friday, and John Lucas III got 2 FT with 12 seconds left and a 1 point lead against the Nuggets. He bricked both. Then Melo missed a potential go-ahead bucket with 4 seconds left, but 3 Bulls combined to lose the rebound out of bounds, which let Melo hit the game winner at the buzzer.

Also today, Darren Collison and Brandon Rush each bricked a FT with under 2 minutes to go in OT, in a game that was tied at 102 with the Thunder. Those 2 points would've been nice to have when it was 106-103 and the Pacers had possession with under 24 seconds left. A one point game with a chance to win at the buzzer is very different from a 3 point game where you're taking a tough shot just to tie, and a miss and ft at the other end leave you down 5.

The City of Los Angels: L.A. went 0-4 this weekend. The Lakers choked away a 19-point lead in a 102-96 loss to the Jazz in Utah before falling into a 15-point hole at home against the Pacers before losing 95-92. Mind you, Indy had lost 11 straight regular-season games to the Lakers on the road since its last win on February 14, 1999, shortly before Staples Center opened.

As usual, there's going to be a lot of talk about whether Kobe transforming into the Black Mamba and going into Hero Mode helped or hurt the Lakers. We know Kobe gave the Jazz and Pacers his own personal version of Anal Rampage...and we know the Lakers lost both games. Critics say Kobe going "LEEEEEEERRRROOOYYYY JEEENNNKIIIINNSS!!" killed the Lakers' offense. As Karc put it: "I know I'm not the only who saw that 14-point run and immediately said, 'Lakers are losing this game.'"

Defenders will say his teammates were playing like crap and Kobe's scoring outburts were the only think that kept L.A. in these games. Said Adam: "Actually Kobe going 'hero mode' had nothing to do with it. It was everybody else like Barnes, Fisher, Blake, and Brown bricking ill-advised three after ill-advised three and the whole team going cold after the first quarter."

Who was really at fault? Take your pick.

As for the Clippers, well, they fell behind by 25 to the Suns in Phoenix and eventually lost 116-108 and then finished off the weekend with a 109-97 loss at home to the Jazz. Make it 3-15.

After the Clips committed 18 turnovers and let the Jazz shoot 58 percent from the field, Eric Gordon offered: "They ended up playing good defense, but we stopped ourselves."

The Phoenix Suns: Their win against the Clippers was actually a cause for concern. They let a 25-point lead shrink to only four before closing The Other L.A. Team out. But check it: Eric Gordon had a season-high 32 points, Ryan Gomes scored a season-high 20, and Brian Cook added a season-high 16 points and 10 rebounds. That just gives you the defensive shivers, doesn't it?

Sure enough, on Sunday the Suns managed to score 133 points on 51 percent shooting...and lose. That's 'cause the Nuggets dropped 138 points on them. Without Carmelo Anthony. And despite missing 16 free throws.

Mind you, Denver's previous season-high in points had been 120. It was the team's highest point total since scoring 147 in double overtime at Seattle on April 6, 2008.

Said Phoenix coach Alvin Gentry: "You can't win a game where you don't guard anybody. You got to guard one person. Even if we guard George Karl, we got to guard somebody."

The Suns are giving up 111.9 PPG. Yes, that's a league-worst.

Chauncey Billups, dubious compliment machine: "Without him, we're not as predictable. When Melo's in you go to him, let him orchestrate. I'm sure not having him out there made it difficult for [the Suns] to know what we were going to do."

The Portland Frail Blazers: Talk about your rough weekends. The Frail Blazers got Brandon Roy back in time to get dumped on their asses at home 97-78 by the Hornets. Portland shot only 39.5 percent and those 78 points were a season-low.

More Turkey Coma.

Apparently, Portland was still Turkey Coma-ized on Sunday night when they lost 98-96 to the Nyets in New Jersey. The Nyets shot 52 percent from the field. Now the Blazers -- that young, up-and-coming team that's been supposed to take over the league for, what, the last three or four seasons? -- is .500.

Said Wesley Matthews: "We don't feel like we're an 8-8 team."

And I don't feel drunk. But...

Avery Johnson, quote machine: Regarding the extra morning practice session he called between back-to-back games: "DON'T MAKE TOO MUCH OFIT OR IN THE MANNER OF HOW I CALLED IT. THEY KNEW I WAS DISAPPOINTED AND JUST NEEDED TO SEE THEIR FACES THIS MORNING. I COULDN'T SLEEP ANYWAY. I DIDN'T WANT TO RAISE MY VOICE TNIGHT. THEY GOT ENOUGH OF THAT THIS MORNING."

The Minnesota Timberwolves: During his first six seasons in the NBA -- all with the Miami Heat -- Dorell Wright averaged 6.3 PPG. And Pat Riley didn't even consider hanging onto him.

Now Wright is feeling "The Golden State Effect." And on Saturday, he drilled nine three-pointers on his way to a career-high 30 points against the Timberpoops, who apparently forgot the Warriors like to run 'n gun.

Regarding his team's defensive apathy, Minny coach Kurt Rambis said: "You could see that blank look on their face for the majority of the ballgame."

Way to inspire the troops, coach!

By the way, Wright and fellow Heat refugee Michael Beasley combined for 58 points. Riles needed role players to support the Nazgul. Little did he know he was actually sitting right on top of them. Speaking of which...

The Miami Heat: When the Heat played the Mavericks in Dallas on Saturday night, Zydrunas Ilgauskas started at center and scored zero points. Carlos Arroyo started at the point and finished with zero assists. The Miami bench was outscored 39-22. And here are the point totals for the four Heat centers: Big Z (0), Erick Dampier (0), Joel Anthony (0), Jamaal Magloire (DNP-CD).

Huh. I thought great players were supposed to make their teammates better. The Heat have two and a half great players. Something's fishy here, don't you think?

Here's some more Heat-themed vomit from ESPN Stats and Information:

The Heat are 0-4 on the road against opponents with winning records.

Miami's Big 3 combined for 67 of the Heat's 95 points as they each scored 20-plus for the second time this season. However, they also combined for 13 of the Heat's 15 turnovers.

The Mavericks outscored the Heat 48-26 in the paint. Coming into the game, the Mavericks were the only team in the NBA averaging fewer points per game in the paint than the Heat.

The Heat are 2-7 against teams with a .500 record or better this season and have dropped four straight road games.

The bottom line is: Dallas put Miami into a 19-point hole. The Heat almost climbed out, but almost only counts in horseshoes and Stan Van Gundy fitting into his pants.

The Heat are now 9-8. Last season, without King Crab or Chris Bosh, they were 10-7 after 17 games. Cue Countdown to Failure.

After the game, Miami held a players-only meeting. Regarding that meeting, D-Wade said: "We felt like we needed it. Sometimes it's a feel. We haven't had a team-only meeting. We're playing like 9-8 and we needed it. This is a new team, a new group of guys. Guys need to understand each other and hear each other talk. We all feel better after the talk we had. It's tough because I know the potential of this team, the vision I had when this team was put together."

Added LeBron: "It was a well-needed team meeting where everybody had a chance to get off whatever they had on their chest or in their head about us figuring things out. Right now we are a 9-8 team and we have to own up to that. Does our record speak of the quality of team we can become? I don't think so. But right now we're 9-8 and we're playing like that."

Speaking of owning up to stuff...

LeBron James: As many of you aleady know, he bumped coach 'Spo.


As Basketbawful Original pointed out, that wasn't exactly a first:


Now, the obvious question is: Did His Supreme Crabbiness do it on purpose? I have to agree with SPORTSbyBROOKS...it didn't happen by accident. Forget just walking off a basketball court. LeBron James walks through crowds just to reach his own bathroom. He knows how to avoid bumping into people when he needs to. And this time he didn't. The reason why he did it is something that's harder to ascertain.

Is he searching for a fall guy to explain away why his presence has actually made the Heat worse than they were without him last season? Maybe. As Adrian Wojnarowski put it a couple weeks ago:

When things don’t go well for the Heat, there's one guarantee: James will never take responsibility. Here’s a man who quit in the middle of Game 5 to the Celtics a season ago, stopped playing in a conference semifinal and still wanted Brown and his supporting cast blamed like in the past. Here's a man who needed Nike to make some kind of half-baked commercial apology that only came within the context of pushing his shoes. James knows only how to be about James, and he'll sacrifice anyone to protect himself.

It's true. And now, LeBron doesn't have anywhere to hide. Before, he could hide behind a historically bawful franchise and "bad" teammates. Now he has to explain why he -- last season's ordained Best Basketball Player in the World -- can't win with D-Wade and Chris Bosh backing him up. This isn't the easy way out he had in mind. Which makes this a perfect time to run Michael Jordan's supposed "response" to LeBron (which is in reality just a commercial mashup...but totally on the money):


The Sacramento Kings: Facing a Bulls team that was 1) dealing with various injuries to key players, 2) playing on the second night of back-to-backs, 3) on their fourth game in five nights, and 4) finishing up their seven-game circus trip of horrors, the Purple Paupers built a 57-44 lead after two quarters -- the team's very first halftime lead of the season! -- and then lost 96-85.

Their 28-point second half included a 9-point fourth quarter.

Said Paupers coach Paul Westphal: "I thought that in the second half our defense was good enough for us to win the game, but our offense was something that was out of some horror book. Two turnovers in the first half and 16 in the second half, it's just unbelievable. Running the same plays, only not executing them."

The Kings have now lost four straight and 10 of 11.

Tyreke Evans: The ankles be broken.


The New Orleans Hornets: They went up by 17. They fell behind by 17. They lost 109-95. At home. To the Spurs. Can you say "exposed"?

No offense to the Hornets. They're a great early season story. But after starting the season 8-0, they've gone 4-4, including three losses in their last four games, to the Clippers, Jazz and Spurs. Don't get me wrong. The Hornets are good. Just not as good as everybody was starting to think.

And you know, some of that may be coaching...

Monty Williams: At halftime, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich made adjustments, which included some defensive switching and a small lineup. Then, over the final two quarters, the Spurs shot 60 percent, drilled seven treys, and outscored the Hornets 65-34.

Said New Orleans coach Monty Williams: "The bottom line is I got outcoached. Coach Popovich made a great move, going small, and I didn't make the immediate adjustments to put us in position to hang on. ... It was just an old-school whipping from a coaching standpoint."

Chris's Mega Weekend Lacktion Report:

Rockets-Bobcats: Jared Jeffries jacked apart a treasure chest for a 1.25 trillion (1:15).

For Charlotte, Sherron Collins brought home a Castlevania cartridge to His Airness in just 24 seconds for a Mario, while THE Kwame Brown provided the man who picked him #1 overall with four bricks (twice from the charity stripe) in 6:08 for a +4 suck differential!!!

Raptors-Celtics: Von Wafer can now afford the toll in the Ted Williams Tunnel after a 2.2 trillion (2:13)!

Bucks-Pistons: Yep. KNEE-MAC gave the Motor City a mediocre +1 in 6:09 via brick. I think my work is done here.

...but I can't stop keeping track of lacktivity, so on we go...

Sixers-Heat: Philly's Andres Nocioni notched three bricks in 7:20 (twice from Biscayne Boulevard) and a foul and giveaway each for a +5!

Thunder-Pacers: Nick Collison smashed into the ledger a bit tonight by countering two boards in 9:25 with 3 bricks and 4 fouls for a 4:2 Voskuhl. BJ Mullens mired himself in two fouls and a turnover in 5:03 for a +3 and a 3:0 Voskuhl, and Royal Ivey was declared King Koopa after just 8 seconds in a SUPER MARIO!

Lakers-Jazz: Derrick Caracter once again revealed his true colors with a one-foul +1 and 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl in 3:06.

Warriors-Grizzlies: Despite an assist in 7:54, Dan Gadzuric returns to the world of Voskuhl ratios with a 4:0 via two fouls and two giveaways; fellow Warrio Charlie Bell barely rang up a Mario in 59 seconds which included a brick from the Peabody Motel.

Hornets-Blazers: Luke Babbitt bricked once from the US Bancorp Tower in 1:16 for a +1.

Hawks-Knicks: Andy Rautins will now be able to put a deposit on some MSG seats after a 1.85 trillion (1:52).

Warriors-Wolves: Rodney Carney raised up a pair of bricks (once from the Mary Tyler Moore statue) in 6:49 for a +2, while Kosta Koufos lost the rock once and tossed up his own piece of masonry in 1:54 for a +2 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Heat-Mavs: In the Highly Unanticipated Rematch of the 2006 Association Finals, Brian Cardinal flew into 8-bit territory with a 2-second Super Mario! Also lacking it up for Dallas was Ian Mahinmi, who fouled and lost the rock once each for a +2 in 3:28, and a 2:0 Voskuhl.

Brendan Haywood put Mark Cuban's team on the ledger a third time (appropriate, as the South Beach Three incurred ANOTHER loss) by countering two boards in 7:58 with four fouls for a 4:2 Voskuhl.

Bobcats-Bucks: Sherron Collins took a rejection as well as a brick (from downtown Milwaukee) in 3:03 for a +2, while fellow Air Jordan purveyor Derrick Brown also bricked once from (downtown) and fouled twice for a +3 in 5:34.

For Wisconsin's team, Earl Boykins turned on his NES for 38 seconds for a Mario.

Bulls-Kings: Omer Asik banished an assist away in 9:04 with two fouls for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Bobcats-Bucks: Sherron Collins took a rejection as well as a brick from the Pabst Theater in 3:03 for a +2, while fellow Air Jordan purveyor Derrick Brown also bricked once from Schlitz Park and fouled twice for a +3 in 5:34.

Knicks-Pistons: Timofey Mozgov made the most of another appearance for Mike D'Antoni, downing a pair of boards in 8:22 with a brick, three fouls, and three turnovers for a 6:2 Voskuhl. Roger Mason Jr. joined the ledger with a brick from the Ren Center in 8:10 for a +1.

Jazz-Clippers: Jarron Collins constructed a Voskuhl ratio of 5:1 in a 13:35 stint by negating a board with four fouls and a turnover.

Frail Blazers-Nyets: Luke Babbitt bobbled a brick in 2:35 for a +1.

Pacers-Lakers: Derrick Caracter coined 2.4 trillion (2:24) in pure gold!

Memoir Monday... The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson

The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson

Isabel Wilkerson interviewed more than 1200 people "whose lives had followed the same basic pattern: early years in the South followed by relocation in either the North or the West." Her research & writing of The Warmth of Other Suns, took her almost 20 years and follows "the 55 year migration of black Americans across their own country". She culls from all those rich wealth of interviews, those of three rural Southerners, whose stories will bring life to The Warmth of Other Suns... Here's what the publishers say:

In this epic, beautifully written masterwork, Pulitzer Prize–winning author Isabel Wilkerson chronicles one of the great untold stories of American history: the decades-long migration of black citizens who fled the South for northern and western cities, in search of a better life. From 1915 to 1970, this exodus of almost six million people changed the face of America. Wilkerson compares this epic migration to the migrations of other peoples in history. She interviewed more than a thousand people, and gained access to new data and official records, to write this definitive and vividly dramatic account of how these American journeys unfolded, altering our cities, our country, and ourselves.

With stunning historical detail, Wilkerson tells this story through the lives of three unique individuals: Ida Mae Gladney, who in 1937 left sharecropping and prejudice in Mississippi for Chicago, where she achieved quiet blue-collar success and, in old age, voted for Barack Obama when he ran for an Illinois Senate seat; sharp and quick-tempered George Starling, who in 1945 fled Florida for Harlem, where he endangered his job fighting for civil rights, saw his family fall, and finally found peace in God; and Robert Foster, who left Louisiana in 1953 to pursue a medical career, the personal physician to Ray Charles as part of a glitteringly successful medical career, which allowed him to purchase a grand home where he often threw exuberant parties.

Wilkerson brilliantly captures their first treacherous and exhausting cross-country trips by car and train and their new lives in colonies that grew into ghettos, as well as how they changed these cities with southern food, faith, and culture and improved them with discipline, drive, and hard work. Both a riveting microcosm and a major assessment, The Warmth of Other Suns is a bold, remarkable, and riveting work, a superb account of an “unrecognized immigration” within our own land.

This book has made more than one "Best Book of 2010" list, and with all the amazing buzz surrounding this book, for good reason. Just from reading the beginning excerpt of the book, I was immediately drawn into the lives of Ida Mae Gladney, George Starling, and Robert Foster, whose stories Isabel Wilkerson opens the book with. Some have wondered why The Warmth of Other Suns did not garner a nomination for the National Book Award, but awards aren't everything. This isn't really a memoir in the "traditional" sense, but I felt that the stories of Ida Mae Gladney, George Starling and Robert Foster demanded to be acknowledged as something more than history, as their stories, their lives, make up so much of The Warmth of Other Suns. This is an important book and I'm looking forward to reading it! *P.S. This Book is Kindle Ready!

The Sunday Salon and The Beginning of the "Best of 2010" Book Lists

Welcome to The Sunday Salon! The day of the week where we bookish people catch up on what we've been reading, and all the other bookish things going on around us. Grab a cup of joe and relax. It's been a hectic weekend for most of us. First with preparing for our Thanksgiving with cooking & cleaning, welcoming family & friends to our homes, and then for some the tradition of a black friday shopping excursion. Did you start your Holiday shopping friday?! I usually work the day after Thanksgiving, and this year was no different, except that if I really wanted to, quite a few shops were open 10pm on Thanksgiving. And of course there were the 4am openings on friday. But I merrily avoided those long lines and drove to work, half comatose from eating way too much turkey and Juniors cheesecake for dessert! (Thanks to my sis-in-law that works in the city for picking the later up!) I did manage to get myself into a long line at Borders at the beginning of the week though, because they were tempting us readers with a 50% off anything coupon. It was the first time in a long time that I saw Borders that busy! Do you buy books for gift giving?! I usually do. Already there are "the best" of 2010 reading lists out there. How do we qualify the books published in the last few months of the year? Remind me that if I ever publish a book I do in the middle of the year! In any case, I love reading these "best of " lists. So, today's Sunday Salon is a few books on the top of the "Best of 2010" Books, that I keep seeing on list after list....

Just Kids by Patti Smith... In 1967, 21-year-old singer–song writer Smith, determined to make art her life and dissatisfied with the lack of opportunities in Philadelphia to live this life, left her family behind for a new life in Brooklyn. When she discovered that the friends with whom she was to have lived had moved, she soon found herself homeless, jobless, and hungry. Through a series of events, she met a young man named Robert Mapplethorpe who changed her life—and in her typically lyrical and poignant manner Smith describes the start of a romance and lifelong friendship with this man: It was the summer Coltrane died. Flower children raised their arms... and Jimi Hendrix set his guitar in flames in Monterey. It was the summer of Elvira Madigan, and the summer of love.... This beautifully crafted love letter to her friend (who died in 1989) functions as a memento mori of a relationship fueled by a passion for art and writing. Smith transports readers to what seemed like halcyon days for art and artists in New York as she shares tales of the denizens of Max's Kansas City, the Hotel Chelsea, Scribner's, Brentano's, and Strand bookstores. In the lobby of the Chelsea, where she and Mapplethorpe lived for many years, she got to know William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Johnny Winter. Most affecting in this tender and tough memoir, however, is her deep love for Mapplethorpe and her abiding belief in his genius. Smith's elegant eulogy helps to explain the chaos and the creativity so embedded in that earlier time and in Mapplethorpe's life and work.

Patti Smith won The National Book Award this year for Just Kids in the nonfiction category. This book sounds like a wonderful trip back to the New York of the 60's and 70's. I don't know much about Patti Smith, but being an art student in the 70's, I knew about the photography of Robert Mapplethorpe. Besides the National Book Award, Just Kids has gotten lots of great buzz, and is on almost every "best of" list I've seen. And how can you go wrong with a book that "shares tales of Scribner's, Brentano's and Strand."?! Right now the paperback version of this book is priced at $7.71 at Amazon, so if you know someone who loves memoirs, Rock 'n Roll and New York back in the day, pick this one up. I've got it on my wish list now. *P.S. This Book is also Kindle Ready!

The Girl who Fell from the Sky by Heidi Durrow... Durrow's debut draws from her own upbringing as the brown-skinned, blue-eyed daughter of a Danish woman and a black G.I. to create Rachel Morse, a young girl with an identical heritage growing up in the early 1980s. After a devastating family tragedy in Chicago with Rachel the only survivor, she goes to live with the paternal grandmother she's never met, in a decidedly black neighborhood in Portland, Ore. Suddenly, at 11, Rachel is in a world that demands her to be either white or black. As she struggles with her grief and the haunting, yet-to-be-revealed truth of the tragedy, her appearance and intelligence place her under constant scrutiny. Laronne, Rachel's deceased mother's employer, and Brick, a young boy who witnessed the tragedy and because of his personal misfortunes is drawn into Rachel's world, help piece together the puzzle of Rachel's family.

This book was released in early January of this year, and that it makes more than one "best of" list speaks volumes. The author wrote a great column for Bookpage, talking about what inspired her to write The Girl Who Fell from the Sky, and what she wanted to impart to the reader. This has book club pick written all over it, with the story exploring race and identity. This book also won The Bellwether Prize for Fiction in 2008. The Bellwether Prize is awarded to an unpublished novel representing "serious literary fiction that addresses issues of social justice and the impact of culture and politics on human relationships. The prize is awarded to a previously unpublished novel representing excellence in this genre." The Bellwether Prize is awarded on even-numbered years, includes a $25,000 cash payment to the author, and guarantees publication by a major publisher. This January Algonquin Books will release this in paperback, in the meantime it is available in hardcover from your local bookstore, or This is Kindle Ready!

Before I

Fall by Lauren Oliver... Here's NPR's Gayle Forma's review:

High school senior Samantha Kingston is a typical mean girl. She and her popular troika of friends cavalierly treat the lesser students like dirt because th

ey can. Early on in the book, on Feb. 12, Sam is killed in a car accident on the way home from a party with her friends. But instead of floating away to some afterlife, Sam wakes up in her bed to find it's the morning of Feb. 12, and she must relive the last day of her life over. With the rules upended, Sam tweaks her actions (seducing a teacher, ditching school to spend the day with her little sister, attempting to help a deeply unhappy "loser," kissing the boy she maybe should have been kissing all along). This may sound like Groundhog Day meets Afterschool Special, but it's actually a subtle, layered and ultimately ethical book. As Oliver widens her lens, Sam comes to understand not only the butterfly effect of kindness but also the cumulative effect of cruelty: "If you cross a line and nothing happens, the line loses meaning. ... You keep drawing a line farther and farther away, crossing it every time. That's how people end up stepping off the edge of the earth." By the end, Sam's (and the reader's) understanding of herself and of her friends is so complete that the bitches from chapter one have become complex, even sympathetic girls.

This is one of those YA books that tugs at our adult hearts. Had we the chance to change something when we were young, would we? Do we view our teenage years differently now that we are adults? I love the idea that Sam comes back (after dying) and discovers the world around her that she never took the time to get to know. There are plenty of "dead teens" coming back stories, but Before I Fall is the one getting some great buzz and topping some YA lists to boot! It's a 480 page book too! The hardcover is under $11 right now at Amazon, and This Book is Kindle Ready!

Here are some sights to check out for the Best of 2010 Book lists:

• Books on the Nightstand
• Publishers Weekly
• Goodreads
• NPR's Best Teen Reads
• Amazon.com
• Barnes & Noble

I'm going to sit down and look back over the next few weeks and make my own "favorites" list from this year's reading. What were your favorites? Do you like reading the Best Book lists? Who's list do you read?

I hope you had a great reading week! And a great Thanksgiving! Did you get any reading done this week? Share your favorites! I'd love to hear about what you're reading! Next week, I will be reviewing Cake Boss by Buddy Valastro! I was going to review it this past weekend, but things got a little hectic after Thanksgiving....

Happy reading... Suzanne

THE CIA AND THE FINANCIAL CRISIS

"The CIA has its own financial institutions on Wall Street... Links to U.S. intelligence, the CIA, Homeland Security and the Pentagon are crucial in the conduct of speculative trade."

How to explain the financial crisis?

The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.

Financial manipulation, linked to the CIA, is at work.

The Mafia-Fascists are in power.

WHO is behind the Financial Meltdown on Wall Street?

The book Financial Meltdown on Wall Street, by Professor Michel Chossudovsky, helps explain the crisis.

Among the points made:

1. The crisis is deepening.

2. Obama's policy is leading to the further "concentration and centralization of financial wealth."

This undermines the real economy.

3. "Starting in the 1980s during the Reagan-Thatcher era, local and regional level enterprises, family farms and small businesses were displaced and destroyed."

4. Thanks to the merger and acquisition boom of the 1990s, certain big global businesses have got bigger.

Olga Farmaki (Website for this image)

5. There are bankruptcies in all major sectors, from shopping malls to tourism.

6. The financial giants - "through stock market manipulation as well as through their overriding control over credit - can undermine and destroy large and well established business corporations."

7. In September 2008 we had the Black Monday collapse of Wall Street.

"Did this paper money 'vanish into thin air' as claimed by financial analysts, or was it 'appropriated' by institutional speculators in one of the largest transfers of money wealth in American history?"

The speculators made billions when the market rebounded.

The Wall Street banks "are the recipients of the bank bailout. And at the same time they made money speculating first on the rejection by the U.S. Congress and subsequently on the later adoption of the bank bailout legislation."

Tiara Lestari's For Women Only

8. "This short-lived 'recovery' was part of the speculative game.

"The sequence of a 'one day collapse' followed by a 'one day surge' and recovery, followed by another 'one day collapse' a few days later, is part of the process of financial manipulation.

"Day to day instability and swings in stock market values are the source of large windfall profits accruing to 'institutional speculators' and hedge funds."

9. The September-October 2008 financial meltdown "was the result of a complex process of financial manipulation."

"Inside information, high level political connections and foreknowledge of key policy announcements are crucial instruments in the conduct of large-scale speculative operations."

"The CIA has its own financial institutions on Wall Street."

" Companies can be divested from within and large amounts of money can be moved out at an opportune moment, prior to the company’s demise on the stock market (e.g. Lehman, Merrill Lynch and AIG, not to mention Bernhard Madoff)."

The 2008 financial meltdown "is characterized by financial warfare between competing institutional speculators."

"The Federal Reserve Bank of New York and its powerful Wall Street stakeholders – which are Wall Street’s largest private banks – have inside information on the conduct of U.S. monetary policy."

"Links to U.S. intelligence, the CIA, Homeland Security and the Pentagon are crucial in the conduct of speculative trade."

"An example: they purchased 'put options' on airline stocks in the days preceding the 9/11 attacks."

On 26 November 2010, a UN think tank reported that, in the last 30 to 40 years (AFP) :

"The number of very poor countries has doubled...

"The number of people living in extreme poverty has grown two-fold."

~

EMILIO MASSERA - ONE OF THE SECRET RULERS OF THE WORLD.

MANSUR OF THE CIA?

Bawful After Dark: Thanksgiving Weekend Watch

Kevin Garnett Photobomb!
Speaking of Kevin Garnett, AnacondaHL shared an amazing Garnett quote earlier today:

"Shaq is paradise," said Garnett. "You ever wash your sheets and then set them out to dry in the sun? You ever smell those sheets when they're done? That's what Shaq is."

I... don't even know what to say. And since I'm still recovering from a turkey-induced food coma, let's just move on.

Worst of the Past Couple Nights in Pictures:

"HEY! Did I just see you playing defense?!? If I catch you doing that one more time, your ass is benched!!"

How about no...

Didn't you just lose like three straight games? Why are you celebrating?

Erik Spolestra just saw The Basketball Jones' video and realized it was like looking into the future

Hey, uh, LeBron, I think you got a little something in your teeth there... Wait, you mean you got a mouthpiece like that on purpose??

Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Rockets at Bobcraps, ESPN2, 7pm: What's going on? TNT gives us two just horrible Thanksgiving night games, and ESPN (well, ESPN2 actually) has to try to match them?

Warriors at Grizzlies, ESPN2, 9:30pm: Okay, now they're just messing with us.

All The Other Friday Games:
Cavaliers at Magic, 7pm: It's kind of funny now to think about how this used to be a real rivalry, isn't it?

Craptors at Celtics, 7:30pm: Instead of watching these dinosaurs and their unbelievable four game winning streak, you should instead prepare yourself to watch Triassic Attack Saturday night on the SyFy channel. Go and read this article for more information (come on, do it. It quotes Frank Coniff, AKA "TV's Frank" from Mystery Science Theater 3000!). The basic premise of the movie:

The movie is about the fossilized remains of dinosaurs that are brought back to life by a Native American spell and urged to wreak havoc on a small town. The ravenous, animated skeletons start eating as many people as they can.

However, because the resurrected dinosaurs are only bones, they have no digestive organs. So their human meals just drop to the ground after mastication.

Tell me that isn't 65 million times more awesome than a Craptors game.

Bucks at Pistons, 7:30pm: The now largely-unfeared deer from Wisconsin are sitting at a 5-9 record despite a solid defense because, as I've noted before, you still have to score more points than the other guy. Luckily for them, Detroit is also a five win team with a much less effective defense.

76ers at Heat, 7:30pm: And sadly the run of epic Heat failures comes to an end.

Thunder at Pacers, 8pm: The Thunder are 5-1 this year on the road, but going back a ways, they have lost 3 straight games in Indianapolis. I'm trying to figure this one out, but I'm just plain not smart enough to comprehend that. It's just the Pacers, guys. Get it together.

Mavericks at Spurs, 8:30pm: Interesting game. The Mavs are winning games, but not in a good way. Quoting Marc Stein on The BS Report: "The problem is if [Nowitzki] has to keep carrying the load he's carrying right now, we won't see him in April. He's playing spectacular, but this team is -- hard to watch right now is putting it kindly. They're winning games with [defense]... If Jason Terry has an off-night, they're huge trouble because half the time they're playing 2-on-5 offensively." The Spurs may have barely beaten the Timberpups in a goofy trap game, but they could really bring it to the Mavs here.

Bulls at Nuggets, 9pm: The Bulls need to win either this game or Saturday night at Suckramento to lock up their first winning record for the Circus Trip since Jordan was dunking all over people for them. Unfortunately, Derrick Rose and Taj Gibson are both gametime decisions tonight. Gibson's ankle is still a little sore, and Rose is fighting discomfort in his neck.

Clippers at Suns, 9pm: Now that the Clippers have gotten their one win for the week out of the way, they can go back to their usual godawful routine of failure.

Lakers at Jazz, 9:30pm: Sobering stat of the day: "The Utah Jazz have lost all three home games against teams that made the playoffs last season." And if you'll remember, the Lakers beat the holy hell out of the Jazz in the playoffs last year, and are on the warpath this year and intent on destroying everything in their sight. Sorry, Utah fans. Not looking good for tonight.

Hornets at Frail Blazers, 10pm: The Blazers were looking forward to getting Joel Przybilla back on the court (as were the rest of us here at Basketbawful), but it may not happen tonight. After recovering for nearly a full year from a ruptured patella, he finally gets ready to hit the court... and has to go to the hospital fighting a stomch virus. It's almost like somebody on the inside is sabotaging the Blazers at this point. (For the record, The Vanilla Gorilla is still a gametime decision, and will play limited minutes if he does get in the game)

* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Magic at Wizards Generals, NBA TV, 7pm: "Magic" and "wizards" battle it out in the matchup of geektacular team names!

All The Other Saturday Games:
Hawks at Knicks, 1pm: I have nothing worth sharing related to this game, so I'll just share this: President Obama needed 12 stitches after getting hit in the mouth during a friendly game of hoops on Thanksgiving. At least it's better than what happened to Tiger Woods the last time we had a celebrity of sorts get injured over the Thanksgiving long weekend.

Grizzlies at Cavaliers, 7:30pm: Fair to say almost nobody will be at this game, right? The Cleveland fans have to save up their dollars for the King James return game.

Nyets at 76ers, 7:30pm: Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted: "Terrence Williams had a lot of red flags for teams coming out of Louisville and chronic tardiness with Nets earns him demotion to D-League." As someone from Louisville who watched T-Will in college far too much... yes, he is D-League material.

Warriors at Timberwolves, 8pm: Are you ready for Darko to put up a 30/15/5 game? It's within the realm of possibility here, folks. Somebody please hold me. I'm scared.

Heat at Mavericks, 8:30pm: There will be a combination of five effective offensive players on the floor at once here. Too bad it's spread over two teams.

Bobcraps at Bucks, 9pm: The appeal of watching this game is like watching The Postman to see Tom Petty's cameo as himself in a post-apocalyptic Kevin Costner world. Terrible enough to be briefly amusing, but absolutely not worth it, and you feel like a worse person for seeing it. (However, it is worth it to check out the Youtube comments for the joke someone makes about living "like a refugee")

Bulls at Kings, 10pm: This reeks of trap game. Chicago looking forward to ending their road trip, Rose is a little banged up, Suckramento should in theory be an easy opponent...

* * *

All The Sunday Games:
Hawks at Craptors, 1pm: As bad as the Hawks have struggled at times this season, at least they can take comfort in knowing they haven't lost twice in a week to the Craptors like the 76ers recently did. So that's nice.

Knicks at Pistons, 1:30pm: Including this game, the Knicks upcoming schedule: at Pistons, Nyets, at Hornets, at Craptors, T-Wolves, Craptors, at Generals. Seriously, I am willing to accept that the Knicks might reel off several wins in a few weeks here.

Spurs at Hornets, 3pm: Good game.

Jazz at Clippers, 3:30pm: Not so good of a game.

Thunder at Rockets, 7pm: At what point does Daryl Morey start drinking heavily?

Frail Blazers at Nyets, 7pm: Just thinking here... aren't we overdue for The Prokhorov to do something ridiculous and entertaining? I feel kinda let down.

Suns at Nuggets, 8pm: Newsflash: Amar''''e is a terrible defender. (I know, mindblowing news, right?) Well, here is some insight into that -- Amar'''e says nobody ever taught him how to play defense! Because of course it's impossible for him to seek other sources of knowledge...

Pacers at Lakers, 9:30pm: While the Lakers certainly will just steamroll over the Pacers in this game, they still won't be too upset if they do manage to somehow lose. They're the only team in the entire Pacific division that is above .500 as of Friday. Not that this is surprising since they play in the same conference as the Warriors, Kings, and Clippers, but still.